Amsterdam: unexpected delight and lessons

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Oh Amsterdam, city of canals and wealthy merchant buildings, still waiting to offload mysterious  goods from ships traveling far across the world; what took me so long to embrace you?  Your soft lit walkways and silent ripples entice strolling feet at any hour. Candle lit pleasure cruises in your narrow canals spreads mystery except for those on whose lips and soft whispers your darkness embraces. Your plesant gables and the soft glow from apartments brings a measure of homeliness to your streets, the like I have not experienced before. 
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In this city of import commodities and business deals it is of course the prostitute archetype that hits me for a new lesson. Every person has this archetypal pattern, it is the lesson of building self esteem and self respect. To learn at what price will you sell yourself, body, mind or soul. Once you build a solid self esteem you will know that no price can ever move you to sell yourself for physical or financial fear of supporting yourself. The new lesson to learn this time is another aspect to this pattern: to release the belief that you can buy a controlling stake over someone else, to be the buyer of someone else’s self esteem. 

Amsterdam, notorious for its red light district is just one straightforward example of selling ones self esteem. It is more interesting to me at this point to look at the one who thinks they can buy another person. The belief that power, money or coercion can buy you something of great value from another human being. This happens all the time obviously because people sell their gifts, time, bodies, and talents for money everyday. Those who buy these commodities must also be in a delusion over what power they really have as well. Which brings me to question where in my life do I try to control another in any form to get from them perhaps something they don’t wish to give away by their own aware choice?
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To think that anything you can buy, taking possession and control over it, will ever bring you lasting happiness is absurd. I am learning to let go of any belief that I can purchase my future in any form and enjoy it. Some things will be ‘bought’, but the energy is such that co-creation with the universe is the only thing that will bring lasting meaning to any endeavor. Money can’t buy you happiness. It’s function can buy you experiences which if you choose can turn into happiness. Only a place of insecurity propounds the idea that money can make you safe and buy what you truly want. As I am learning quite directly, whatever you really need will show up just as you need it. Live true to your pure intentions and allow yourself to be taken care of. 
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There is a beautiful crispness to a perfect fall morning that brings a certain aliveness to your senses.  Families on their way to school stand out in stark relief and you are able to step back into the shoes of years gone by. Remember being a child and what it really felt like to go to school. Your whole day was a mystery to you and yet you met it with clear cut awareness. Your only responsibilities were relying on your alive senses to navigate you from home to desk with as much curiosity as possible. Noticing every leaf and insect that might spark an infinitude of imaginations on your journey. The adults had arranged the world for you, activities to engage your mind and the meals are all provided. Nothing has changed except your awareness of how things are provided. On this morning I am blissfully aware of how we are taken care of by a thoughtful universe striving to brighten our days and engage our imaginations. It is only our belief that we control any of it rather than participating with it that we call ourselves a grown up. I intend to take my inner child with me and continue to learn how to be in delight and awe with the world. 
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When I was 6 years old my parents divorced and consciously and unconsciously I became the man of the house and decided to be grown up. Much to my sisters everlasting chargrin, I was the golden child that could do no wrong. Of course I realize now that I had no obligation to become this new person and forgoe a part of my childhood, but I felt it was my duty to cause no problems, fix anything that needed repair and enjoy the rest of my time playing with Legos, computers and building forts. In understanding the prostitute archetype on my walks here I have to admit that I sold part of my childhood not only to my family, but as all children, to school and the system. 

I asked myself this question, what is the difference between a child living in the world where adults seem to order the world and an adult living in the world where God/Source/Universe orders the world?  To a child everything in the universe is arranged and happens as if by magic, which of course they never seriously ponder because they live in the moment and the adults are taking care of the planning and executing.  Adults think they exist in the world by their own choices and control, but forget that the universe runs along smoothly beyond their awareness and control. The contrast occurs only when something goes the other way of what you planned. Children, bless them, plan less and just go along with the flow of experiences. 
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In evaluating what has been lost from that magical childlike time I have to admit quite a few important things got left behind. Each and every day had a theme, roughly a loose schedule, meals, school, play and clean up. Between those times your primary focus was to engage the world through learning and your imagination. Everything could be turned into a game and I hope you enjoyed it. We had such immense trust in everything. Look at a child in his mothers arms, or the light in a child’s eyes on the way to school. The world is perfect and something wonderful is always happening. What changed? We learned too many things. We forgot to trust that life provides for us, that playfulness and abundance is the theme for this world. This is why we have lost touch with the flow of life that runs through children, so alive and fresh. We know too much and use it to hurt ourselves. We use it to shape our thoughts and behavior instead of using the wild creativity and fearlessness of the child to breakthrough into a better existence. Learning was necessary, and remembering how to trust is again necessary. 

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I plan to take all that learning, along with the mind, and put it on a side table, to be used when needed and left alone when not. I will become the master of my experience and childlike innocence will rule my reality. Knowledge is needed for without it you remain childish, but again to become childlike with wisdom is the goal. There, great masters can behave like children and enjoy this playground that was given to each of us. I implore you all to embrace your child archetype and learn to free yourself of any constraints you may have placed between you and joy. 

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Thank you Amsterdam for the wonderful lessons.  I’ll be back to explore the countryside, enjoy more of your delicious cheese samples, and stroll your entertaining canal streets. Who knows, maybe I’ll even want to live on one of the 2,000 cargo ships turned houseboats that decorate your canals. Till next time. 

The wandering monk~

Exploring Bavaria and Berlin

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I arrive in Bavaria on a crisp fall day and history has come to greet me. Everywhere are people in traditional clothes, leiderhosen and dirndl, and the mood is wonderful. The people are off to Munich for Octoberfest to celebrate beer and their history while I have arrived in cow country to enjoy some nature. A dear friend Florian, whom lived in Kansas City for a study abroad, has returned home to southern Germany and like our last adventure we are going to climb a mountain. Unlike that trip we will not get altitude sickness, but we will make many more memories. 

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*3 years ago in Colorado at 14,000 feet

If the mildly charming smells of cow pasture do not alert you to your present situation the constant ringing of bells will. Every cow has their own bell, a matter of tradition now, and thus their merry wanderings ring across the rolling hills of vibrant green. Green is the grass here, second only to Iceland I think. Cows play an important roll in Bavaria and are a source of pride. The young cows are often sent to the alps for grazing before winter and return to the farmers adorned with a giant bell, flowers and all cleaned up if the whole herd makes the journey intact. It’s a parade where everyone gets dressed up, even the cows, and shows off. 
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Florian’s aunt has a dairy farm and I get to experience milking up close and personal. It’s amazing to watch them line up to get washed and milked. Looking into their large eyes, these cows seem to stare back, trying to convey their sense of being.  They are very well taken care of and seem to enjoy a nice country side lifestyle.  The amounts of milk while varying from cow to cow average 22 liters a day. That’s roughly 500 gallons of milk a day for the 100 cows that get milked. Among the young cows, they vary from extremely shy to licking my hand with their rough tongues. There are some barn cats new to life and an extremely agile dog. As a special treat a young lady cow was going to get pregnant today. Florians cousin took special training to be able to tell when an egg was present and how to insert sperm right next to it with a long tool. Pretty interesting, but not so much excitement for any party. I’ll stick to traditional methods. 
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His aunt invited us to a simple dinner after having finished their daily work while we watched. A few questions were offered my way, but Florian got to catch up with his relatives in German for the evening. After the initial odd looks upon discovering I neither ate meat or alcohol, and a joke that I should join the cows, we all settled into smiles. This was another excellent experience to practice understanding people without words. I expect more of this as I travel of course and it is quite amazing how well one can communicate with feeling alone. We might rely on words too much sometimes to express ourselves when a long hard look into another’s eyes will do more justice. Obviously when you have no words to offer and the burning desire to express yourself remains all that is left is to center yourself and radiate whatever glow you have. Such a skill is one I wish to practice and hone, so that no matter where I go I can fill a room with my presence and understand all and be understood in the only way that matters: your presence in the world. 
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Florian myself and two friends hiked siplinger hof mountain on an extraordinarily nice day. Through dense woods, across narrow points and with the amazing scenery of 3 different countries we strolled. We stopped for a traditional lunch at the top where there exists a large cross, as is customary for German mountains. This consists of bread, cheese, and sausage and I added some carrots and baby tomatoes to round out my non meat cravings. Florian’s friends were glad I preferred the traditional food to a hamburger and fries. At the end I enjoyed a burst of energy as I ran down the mountain in my toe shoes to great delight. We gathered and enjoyed a radler, a mix of lemonaid and beer. Very refreshing. 

After climbing the mountain we celebrated Florians birthday.  This was the circomstance that decided for me to head to Germany first rather than Belgium.  Of course everything worked out perfectly.  I met many of his friends, and after they drank a bit, the broken english came out and we all shared slurred stories of travel.  The authentic Bavarian dish I was able to try was a wedding/funeral soup with a salty broth and noodles made from a German pancake made the day before and cut up.  It was quite delicious.  
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On our last day we visited neuschwanstein (new swan stone) castle. This is the fairy tail castle that inspired Disney’s castle. Built by king Ludwig II to satisfy his romantic dreams and lifestyle. It is every bit the magic castle you could imagine. We had rather a lot of fog on our trip so enjoy the postcard photo. I’ll hopefully be back to see it again on a clear day. After all this excitement and hospitality it was time to head up to Berlin and visit another friend.

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Winter is coming and that means 6 hours of sun in Berlin or nostalgic thoughts for me depending on how you count time. Bundling up, cups of tea and Christmas shopping are a few of the warm thoughts bubbling up today, but more pervasively are thoughts of my time at work. The actual work when I think about it thankfully runs from my memory, but the plesant moments and more importantly the feelings have stayed. I’ll always remember my first 6 months of work with my father for the amazing learning experience it was. I had responsibilities that extended beyond myself, I was learning the business and how to speak with people on the phone and get what I needed. I started in October so 6 years later on the mark I remember most the warm feeling of learning from my father, imitating his lifestyle, and learning to drink cappuccinos. That was our midday ritual, find lunch and finish with a cappuccino. I remember those days fondly right now, the warmth of the drink coupled with the warm environment of family and belonging to something outside myself. It is of course the romantasised memories that bring up these wonderful feelings. Those pure moments of feeling that linger over the years is all that is remembered, not the doing and so it is vital to remember that all you do should be done with great feeling and vigor. When action lacks feeling and becomes dull, moments of your life slip away into the ether never to be recalled again. Stay awake and love what you are doing and your days will be filled with joy and warmth. 
 

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*berlin wall
The sounds of winter are the reverberating shuffle scrapes of shoes in empty courtyards and stair cases, with the sniffled overtone of breath catching the shock of chilled air. Sounds and touch are amplified in the chilled silence of winter air asking each person to notice the starkness of change before the impulse to hurry on and retreat into warmth. A beam of sun catches you in mid stride and you can almost agree that it’s not half bad. Then the shade comes back and you shudder to remember it’s actually only fall and winter is a ways off.

Berlin is a unique experience due to its history. Once liberated, east Berlin was behind the times and this made it an idea place for lovers of freedom to congregate. Rarely do you find an authentic Berliner as artists and eccentrics from the world over flock to Berlin to live cheaply and express themselves. The going slogan is “poor but sexy” and it shows. It’s a haven for eternal sub culture, the parents are over in West Berlin perhaps and not wanted here.  
 

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Often in bombed out buildings these people would squat and over time they turned into communities focused in art or gardening and many other projects.  As money flows into the city, these spaces are now worth quite a sum, which leads to many legal problems today settling ownership, and as the city grows the atmosphere is changing.  Money tends to bring with it the conservative touch of conformity. Berlin is perhaps the last modern city where a thriving culture of poor, but free creative people exist in such boundless numbers with such freedoms and space. The people I met look back on prices and freedom of mobility 10 years ago and see that Berlin will be much different in another 10 years as unparalleled growth happens and this city rushes to meet the fate of all cities. 

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Sexuality also flows freely as the normal stereotypes of repression have been set free. This was evident on the highlight of the trip. My good friend Shauna whom I was crashing with took me and some friends to Wasteland, an offshoot from the worlds biggest fetish party in Amsterdam. I only knew to expect latex and rubber and keep an open mind. I was prepared for that, but I wasn’t prepared for just how comfortable the whole thing would be. After rummaging through a friends wardrobe, it was decided I would be wearing a PVC skirt, red thigh high stockings and a fishnet shirt.

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It was suggested I go in my underware only as it gets quite hot in this place, but I was needlessly hesitant to be that naked as I would soon understand that just underware would be quite conservative. Thankfully the skirt gave me some sort of costume and added a nice flare to my dance style. Besides just being comfortable I totally understand why women wear them now. The costumes at the party were magnificent and I wish I could have spent some more effort on mine, but at least my compatriots had full rubber outfits of the kind you would expect. (In hindsight I am thankful I was not living in a river of sweat)

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The club is billed as the place for consenting expression of sexual freedom. The age range was more in the mid 30-50’s, but every age group was represented. Perhaps it was this added maturity that added a pervading calm and easy going flow to the whole place. There were half naked people of all sorts, men, women, tops and bottoms. There were people who seemed they couldn’t decide to dance or masterbate and kept switching between the two on the dance floor. Others were having various types of sex in other spaces. And this was very natural and okay. Many people not used to this may have been gawking and picking their jaws off the floor all night, but being there, seeing people interacting with such care and affection, even when using whips, was the biggest surprise of all. Freedom comes when you express and explore who you are and what makes you feel good. I suppose if this was too much you would have just left and thus everyone here was on the same page. I’m glad I got to see what being open with your body can look like in the extreme. Nudity and sexual expression in Europe has always been ahead of our more prudish nature where showing violence doesn’t make as much of a stir as naked bodies. 

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The rest of my time in Berlin was spent exploring a little, but mainly learning Acro Yoga.  I dont know the exact definition, but Acro invoves two people performing a mix of acrobatics and yoga, with one person on the ground as the base and the other supported in the air as the flyer.  I spent 3 of my 6 nights going to practice and meeting people so I would say Berlin was like going to circus school for me.  I had been introduced to this yoga before by a couch surfer in Kansas City, but I really got to learn some things and find my balance.  I was fourtunate enough to learn both base and flying.  Experiencing both sides of this movement cultivated an amazing respect for perspective.  As a base I saw the whole movement and balance one way, then as a flyer as a completly different way.  It was quite schocking, after explaining to my flyer what I needed as a base, to have it flipped around on me and experience the reverse.  A perfect and immediate lesson in understanding that your perspective is not reality, but only your interpretation of it.

I enjoyed my time in Berlin and all the amazing people I met.  Many of whom struck an immediate chord as someone I would continue to get to know better.  As for the city, while providing a context for these personal encounters, I wasnt really moved particularily by its beauty or presence and thinking about spending winter there chills me to the bone.  But like all the amazing people who endure the winter to experience the rest of the amazing seasons, its the community of interesting young people expressing themselves and what they love that gives Berlin its unique charm.

See you next year Germany. 

P.S. I got to do 200 on the autobahn. 

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Paris: World of Imagination

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“Come with me 
and you’ll be 
in a world 
of pure imagination”
 – Willy Wonka

Stepping foot into Paris is like getting the golden ticket. Your dreams are about to come true and everywhere you look something has been created to delight your senses. The night air is alive, the lights, the stones, the smells all transport me back to my first experience of the world; Paris at age 16. The world was so mysterious and vast, where anything could happen right around the corner and my imagination was ripe and fresh. To my inexperienced youth, a foreign language with no responsibilities was enough to lock Paris into a pure playground of sensations. The world seems to have gotten smaller as I easily manage my way around and use simple French, yet the awe of stepping into these vaguely familiar streets fills me with joy to explore the city of love from this totally new self. Walking the night air, seeing fashionable people having drinks on the sidewalk, the familiar subway air smell and cigarette smoke, this is the Paris I remember, whose feelings are etched in my memory. 

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I have traveled to many cities and countries and with each I have developed a relationship. Some were brief and memorable, some fail to make a lasting impression.  Japan left deep and profound changes in our ongoing relationship, while others like Paris, while she may not always be on your mind, can with one look, one embrace, cause all time to be forgotten as you fall back into the arms of a trusting and comfortable lover. 
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As luck would have it, our apartment over looks the ever present Eiffel Tower and I am graced with laughter at the pure perfection of our situation. I am rooming with my best friend from college and unofficial adopted family, Robin and his wife Gabriella. Despite the late hour and the 10 hours of travel, it’s time to eat. My trip has been likened to the movie Eat, Pray Love in the sense that I plan to eat in France, meditate in India and well I may not be searching for external love, but I am going to Bali and I may find love. After stumbling in and out of brasseries trying to find an open establishment we land ourselves a table and a few entrées.
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Ah Paris, you never fail to amaze the senses. The food that arrives knocks me flat: A Classic French onion soup (funny how the best one in the city always arrives on your first meal), a pair of toast points with bubbling fresh goat cheese melting on top, and a tower of sliced vegetables with marinara and mozzarella glowing all colors of the rainbow. Even the table baguette has more flavor and snap than most breads I can remember and I finish everything in sight. This begins the journey to eat my weight in bread and cheese; and I think I’ll throw in French pasteries to finish the job. 

I awake to the smells of Paris. The din and excitement of morning traffic and stalls setting up for the weekly open air market waft through the windows. Hallways in hotels and apartments have a unique smell to them only to be found in Paris. It’s a slightly musty, yet comforting smell the hugs you in the narrow passageways and stairwells of this well worn city. A memory of the ages and people that have passed into antiquity. Ground floor presents a new barrage of olfactory assault. The fresh seafood and meat vendors have on display their finest cuts and catches. I wander through the market with people bustling to and fro with their purchases and rubbing up to the display cases to make their selections.  I pass whole displays of fruit and vegetables, more cheese varieties than I know exist and bakers with that delicious French bread and glowing flaky crust that accompanies every croissant and pain au chocolat.  Giant figs and nectarines fill my bag as I navigate the French language for the first time and realize I don’t have all the words I need, but I overcome my hesitancy to look foolish and pointing helps. I find out later it happens to be nectarine season which is why they are bursting with flavor as juices run down my face with each bite.  Robin saves me from my fromage incompetence and nabs us quite a few delicious selections to round out the breakfast feast. 
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Robin is attending sciences po to finish his law degree while Gabriella is studing for the LSAT which leaves me to wander the city aimlessly everyday. I’ve seen the main sights of Paris and wish to remain out of the circle of tourists and blend in as a local just going about my daily business.  I will walk in upwards of 10 miles a day crossing ever farther from my home base in the 15th arrondissement to discover much by accident many famous sights, movie locations, and local happenings to attract my attention. As the weather clears from cool and gray to sunny and warm over my 2 weeks I enjoy my strolls and comfortably find that miles disappear beneath my feet without even noticing. An hour walk is just the start of a daily routine which is probably why I’ve lost weight rather than gained any. I have time, so I leisurely wander and my wanderings find me so much beauty and activity I never once feel I am missing out on anything happening in the city. Obviously more is happening than I can ever comprehend, but I find street performers, art walks, local food stands, free concerts, mesmerizing sweet shops, famous buildings, beautiful parks and more stunning architecture than I can gawk at. 
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This city of stone sprawls ever farther from the steps of sacre couer. Taking in the awe inspiring scope of construction from this lofty point I am filled with a sense of dismay for this endless stone jungle that has replaced all it’s greens for beige. At the same time zooming into any one of these buildings and I am enamored with its individual beauty and uniqueness; every one a work of art. It is much the same view when looking at the earth from space, seeing the damage humanity has caused across the planet and yet everything when viewed up close has its own beauty and place and I am reminded to not fall into judgements, that each moment is a unique moment to be cherished. That everything is perfect, the creation and even the destruction.  It is all a unique example of each persons desires rolled into reality and could not be any other way.  I take these thoughts into the church and meditate into the high domed ceilings of this grand work of human achievement adorned with loving gilt and decoration until I reach a place of peace and wander back into the jungle with love and appreciation. 
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I wonder who lives in the penthouses of the special buildings that end in the rounded classic V intersection like two lovers crossings paths. These finely dressed people sipping tea and gazing out the window as their building unwaveringly plays match maker to pedistrians who seem happy to never walk on parallel streets but to arrive in a puff of smoke, enjoy a drink on the ground floor then continue on their way.  The beauty of the buildings everywhere is astounding. The massive stones and archways of every façade make wandering the streets such a pleasure. Despite the fact that something is happening everywhere in Paris or some historical location lurks around the corner, walking through the streets is interesting enough just to look at the architecture of common apartment buildings. Whoever dreamed this wonderland up from their imagination and got an entire city to play along, I am thankful for their imagination. 
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On a day trip to Versailles I get to experience the overwhelming luxury of royalty. After 10 minutes you go quite numb to the grandiosity of it all. The paintings and gold leaf and the history of it all. It’s not quite my taste truthfully, but interesting to witness and maybe have a ballroom party there once. I have to take stock at one point. I am in the museum hall with giant paintings and realize that one painting is the length of my old house. I quickly pace the width and discover that 8 of my 2200 sq foot homes will fit inside this single hall. I think it hits me then at the real size of this palace, which you can’t comprehend while being inside it without reference points. I escape to the gardens which are massively huge as well and quite by happenstance discover my favorite part of Versailles 
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In the summer palace the queen had a hamlet built to educate the young aristocrats on the workings of daily life for rural France. The amazingly styled buildings here with their gardens and picturesque landscape immediatly identiy with my plans for a community living space. I take my lunch here and just imagine what it would be like to live here and enjoy such beauty every day. I am so excited for my future way of life as I experience examples of it in this moment. My travels are already paying off well I think. 

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Back in Paris I pop out of a subway station into my own world of imagination. I rarely take a train on the outward journey so I am disoriented to my surroundings when I emerge in a new magical place. I am here to visit Robin’s favorite writing shop with leather bound journals. The smell of paper and the beauty of writing stare at me from every object of a time long past when the letter was an intimate treasure to give and receive. I still find handwriting and letter craft to be incredibly alluring and a moment to pause and contemplate life and the beautiful complexities of communication. Despite my romantic tendencies towards this art form I rarely partake in its pleasures. The digital age has taken the subtle art of waiting for news to arrive and replaced it with instant gratification and the accompanying magic, taken for granted,  of communicating with someone halfway around the globe. 
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I return from my reverie to notice the magical state of affairs I find myself in. Every few shops is an artisan chocolatier and patisserie with their colorful gleaming displays and delicate creations which beckon my taste buds and curiosity. Since making friends with a local raw chocolatier in salt lake city I have had a healthy interest in artisan chocolate making from bean to bar. I wouldn’t be opposed to adding this to my list of hobbies if I find myself near the equator in my travels. Thus every shop has a new story for me to explore and subtle flavors to try. Had I the coin, I could happily spend days sampling every delicacy within sight. I even found a chocolate museum on my wanderings which contained some of the original recipies for chocolate, always consumed as a liquid for the high priests, and some historical ads for chocolate bars from France. While I have not broken down and tried every colorful pastry to catch my eye, when I try to grasp and explain my childlike joy at just viewing these treasures of culinary artwork, no one seems to appreciate them with me.
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I hear the world over that spend enough time in one location and you go numb to the scenery and local flavor that was once a great joy. I am certainly a victim of this as well, at home I did not thoroughly explore every aspect that a visitor would find interesting, but I never once got bored with knowing and appreciating where the best food and delicacies where located. Perhaps since shops are located on every corner no one is concerned since the standard of quality is high across the board. Being from a smaller city, the selection wasnt so varied and the differences in taste were great. For now I am happy that everything I find is delicious and I could spend years here and not eat it all. 
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I must be exuding a comfortable sense of belonging because I get asked for directions about 3 times a day, by Parisians. It might also be the beard. I usually understand what they are after and the map on my phone shows them the nearest station. It’s also fun when Americans ask me directions in broken French, and I answer in French, then calmly ask them, “Do you speak English?”.  Sometimes I leave out words to keep the wonderment in their faces alive and pretend to be somewhat of an oddity if not a local. Many travelers comment that their English gets worse as we drop words when speaking to non English speakers to get the meaning across because less is more when people are not fluent. It’s kind of fun, but I usually just slow my speaking down and everyone benefits. I really felt I had my basics down when an American started ordering her bread in English and the man behind the counter had that “I don’t know what you are saying look”. I happened to know a simple translation and offered it to the situation and felt pretty happy with myself as everyone got something they enjoyed. Communication offers so much enrichment to our lives and it’s not always the words, communicating the meaning to another and being understood is what’s important. 

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Of course there is no avoiding museums in Paris and many are worth seeing many times over. The musee d’orsay is a fine example of a permanent collection that covers many ages in history and one I find great value in seeing. Not all pieces moved me, but many went far beyond and I had to stare transfixed at the magnificent works. I struggle with art at times. If a works beauty doesn’t grab me upon laying eyes on it, it probably isn’t for me. That said, I have found that statues on their own for some reason escape my glances, but put that same statue in context, such as a church or in a garden and I will appreciate looking at it. Not every style or piece is my cup of tea, but I can appreciate the effort and vision that went into it. 

That being said, some new works of contemporary modern just boggle my mind. I am often moved by a deep feeling of frustration, bafflement and then anger at some pieces being displayed by museums, decided upon by minds steeped in the art world and works presumably worth a lot of money. I think you perhaps know these works. They look like Sunday art projects thrown together by just about anyone who can devote a modicum of effort and the vaguest idea of a purpose. I saw 30 pieces of work, each a self portrait of the artist, made of a bit of plywood and pieces of computer parts and wires arranged haphazardly together. Of course I had to read the sign to know they were self portraits. To me they were a few hours and a spare parts bin thrown together that anyone could have made. A whole room was devoted to this prominent artist and my mouth just hangs open. Next to this was a whole room dedicated to a checkered floor, 2 half inflated crayon blowup toys and a metal frame square suspended from the ceiling. I couldn’t stand to read what this was supposed to mean because my brain cells hurt too much and I needed to escape from this world where people find this pleasurable to look at. This is a museum and the effort put into this looks like it took 10 minutes and the beauty or an interesting factor isn’t self evident, it needs to be explained to you and that I just can’t take. 

This however leads me to the subtle work on myself I have been undergoing. To release the ego and it’s judgements. These works affected me, and thus to find the place affronted within me and become at peace with it is to encounter works like this again and remain at peace and go on about my day. I got seriously worked up about this at some level. Feeling like a bunch of kids got together behind closed doors and said let’s see what we can get away with calling art and displaying it to the public as some giant joke. On the other hand applying this ego clearing to the works I declare I like is also to be released. All judgements must be dropped and what will remain is what is and I will see reality as it really is. Catching the mind as it makes instant judgements about anything you encounter is the first step. Once this process is understood and stopped I can encounter anything and without judgement be in relation to it as it truly is without declaring it good or bad.
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On the bright side I almost skipped the modern art museum Pompidou and I would have missed out. Almost everything here really had substance and a special exhibit took my attention with its focus on interaction with the viewer through sound, touch, and movement. Some of the films even came to life as actors moved about the exhibit bringing the experience into the moment. This exhibit and the permanent collection had pieces I even loved that took real thought and while expressed in a modern way were very effective at their message and beautiful in their own right and without explination. I am thankful for this learning experience to see into myself and what subtle tricks the mind can still get up to. As I move through my journey I will try to remain judgement free as new experiences show up to shine on my inner world.

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I was graced with a few other learning experiences in my time here. In my effort to live life as a local I forgot the benefits of living like a traveler. I read once to treat everyday in your home city as if you were on vacation there. Laugh at the traffic, explore around the corner, and open your eyes to the majesty of the moment. No matter where you go I find that the newness wears off when you start to treat that place as routine. It is all a mindset and you can chose a more alive one anytime you want. I do think that it takes a certain kind of innocence and a child-like playful attitude to achieve successfully. I found myself one day counting beans and talking myself out of spending the extra money on enjoying some fine French macaroons. My goal is to live directly, in the moment and here I fell into the trap of just living out my days. Be a traveler and eat out everyday, have two ice creams, try everything, because who knows if tomorrow is coming. Also listen to your body when it comes to eating obviously and don’t overdo it.  I am trying to live each day fully, with great feeling and vitality, and I found myself attempting to be extra thrifty and skipping opportunities to try new delicious foods because of what? Trying to get through my time in France affordably?  As if that was my main intention and I had fallen back into the dull routine of daily life whose focus is money. It’s a question that will continue to follow me I think. What is the goal of a persons way of living? What do you get out of each day?  Is that exactly what you want or just a means of delaying some greater dream? My dream at the moment is to eat delicious foods and visit my friends around Europe. I have the funds set aside for this within reason, but the intention and direction is important. I had lost the intention to old habits of denying myself in the moment for some lower desire to hoard and secure myself from future experiences or hardships. To free myself to express my intention in the moment and live a life of authenticity is the practice of this first portion of travel. To eat and fill myself with freedom and joy, then to go to India and meditate until balance comes between the two. Never forget the direction you are pointed, and if you are lost, be still until you know your direction, for aimless effort is bound to be in the wrong direction. 

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In discerning my direction and selecting a plan I’ve learned something. Given that I can go anywhere and do anything, (this is true for all people) figuring out what to do and how to go about it can seem complicated. Often it boils down to a simple decision, this way or that, north or south, Germany or Belgium. How does one decide?  And when trying to plan around finding trains and places to stay, free opportunities, planning around friends schedules, seeing cool things, and your brain starts melting with all the planning between just two choices. I go for a walk. If another person might be involved in planning I shoot them a message to see how my ideas work for them. By the time I get back one person responds or one choice feels easier and that becomes the course. That settling in feeling aligns the universe to your decision and thus a course of action unfolds while all others fade. When I try to force a direction rather than let one unfold, madness ensues, like swimming against the current. I trust that I am always being guided to experiences and situations that allign with my way of being. This has not failed me yet. But letting go of the need to plan and choose, when planning does save you money on tickets, is tough. The particulars do sort themselves out easily and I’ve met great experiences when I finally relax, and just put out the word on where I want to go and see what comes back to me. Whether on Facebook or just stating my intention to myself and the world. Declare what it is you want and let the rest come to you!  There are always little signs about going with the flow and when you are flowing all things can come to you. In the end, no matter where you go, there you are.
And it’s always perfect. 
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Eating well and off to Germany~
-The Wandering Monk

Health and Energy management, with your awareness.

Continued from Sweden Part 1:
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You have an amazing power within you. With your awareness you can participate with your body in a relationship of understanding to maintain and promote optimal health. You must cultivate this power with patience and trust, but once you have a degree of how it works the possibilities are endless. To be in communication with the signals from your body, the vehicle in which you express your beingness, extends far beyond being physically healthy.   I will attempt to contain the scope of information to physical health, but remember this process applies to every area of your life, including mental, emotional, and spiritual.  It is my sincere hope that you learn to use and master your “emotional guidance system” as coined by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

I dont get sick.  Not ever and I just dont believe in it.  Meaning I believe in my health, and that I am always healthy.  I am not so foolish to think that pathogens do not enter my body and are fended off by my immune system.  I believe in a healthy and perfect immune system.  Obviosuly self re-enforcing experiences promote this conclusion and I support what currently is or I would create something better.  However I see people in various degrees of sickness all the time.  Sick in bed, sick at work, sick at school, apathetic kinds of sick and serious kinds of sick, pain so overwhelming manners go out the window and you would donate this pain to your best friend if it would just go away.  There are other kinds of sick as well, sick of working, sick of monotany, even sick of living I am sure.  Understand that the physical world is the slowest state of vibration. Meaning slowest to change and typically the last place for symptoms to show up. Higher vibrations such as mental or emotional forms are always the source of illness in the body, long ignored and thus manifested physically.   What sickness comes down to in my understanding is probably just two things.  Inability to manage vital body energy, and the inability to listen to your body signals.  

Vital body energy is your available energy to function and includes all your biological processes.  If you run out of this energy, you would be left without any resources to do much of anything.  If you can recall the last time you were sick in bed, perhaps you understand what it is like to have no extra energy other than be at the end result of the disease doing battle with your immune system.  You probably lack the energy to move much, eat, read, use brain power and manage anything but resting.  You may even feel like dieing, metaphorically of course, but this feeling isnt so far from the physical truth.  Managing your vital energy then is to never let it fall below a point where you are at the mercy of required body functions.  With regard to health, if you maintain enough energy you will never have the physical experience of being sick.

Your major energy souce is obviosuly the intake of food converted to energy via digestion and surplus energy stored  in your body.  Other sources are more intangable.  We all live within an energy field and are constantly interacting with it.  Think of all the electrons holding your body together, this constitutes a field.  One major source of energy is the Earth itself.  Placing your bare feet on the earth instantly connects you to a flow of free electrons which naturally settle in your body to balance out the particles missing them.  Similar to this source is contact with all living and non living entities.  Huging a tree, embracing a human, petting the cat, touching stones, making dinner or anything else you come into contact with exchanges energy that can bring energy into your system or give it away. Think at the atomic level, everything your hand touches instantly connects to and then seperates from the electrons of the object being touched.  Having communicated in some tangable way the sensation of the object to your hand (Hard, soft, cold, warm, rough, smooth, etc.)  That is energy and information moving in the field, giving you valuable sensations and guidance.  This transfer of information is happening with everything, all the time and understanding it will allow us a measure of control in our response to new signals.

Energy loss similarly occurs in many ways that are obvious and some that are more subtle in nature.  Using your body physically and mentally requires the largest costs of energy and this is to be expected.  40% of your energy costs may go into using your brain for complex thought processes alone, with major contributions to digestion, elimination, and muscle recovery following up.  Im going to lump the other costs into one category: stressors.  Any time you are in a state of resistance you can easily feel the sensation of it.  Stress is basically a chronic state of energy loss. Whether these are physical stressors such as ingesting toxins or emotional stressors from work or relationships, they cost you energy.

Maintaining vital body energy then is gathering and retaining enough energy in your system than all the stressors costs you.  To be feeling rundown would be to cost yourself enough energy that you dip into the red and spend more energy on physical or emotional stressors than is being balanced by energy input.  To become sick is the same state, but you introduce a disease process into the mix.  This creates a physical experience of pain or suffering felt immediatly in the body without resources at your disposal to change the circumstance.  Thus finding the proper balance of energy, will keep you from this low energy experience and in a state of health.  To know if you are in a proper environment, by environment I mean a physical, emotional and mental state of being stress free, falls to your wonderful internal system of signaling that is constantly informing you moment to moment of your energy state and your environments effects on you.

Listening to your body signals and emotions:
How often does that little voice in your head suggest something to you?  How often do you listen?  More importantly how often do you act upon that suggestion?  Training your awareness to listen to this internal guidance and intuition starts building the foundation of understanding the energy changes happening to your body at the moment of occurance.  They need not be ‘voices’, any pang, poke, buzz, stab, flutter, gut instinct, emotional state or any sensation at all is the same thing.  This is a process of trusting small seemingly insignificant messages which are actually the continual state of change which you can tap into.  Your body is designed to be a reciever of this information always, but your active participation and awareness are needed to do anything useful with this information.  The key is to start acting on each piece of information.  You dont go from getting advice such as exercise a bit more or slow down on the drinking, to major knowledge overnight.  This is because if you cant listen to the easy changes, managing a big change which might turn various areas of your life upside down for a bit, would end up costing you more energy than staying in your current state of misery. (But really they are all small changes depending on your viewpoint…shhh)

This is exactly what happened for me and my diet.  I had begun to listen to my body and started working on some smaller changes and things were begining to change.  I was sitting on the couch one evening and this plesant sensation sprang on me out of nowhere.  Soon my own voice spoke to me in my head and said “How would you like to be vegetarian?”.  It didnt really use the word vegetarian, it was a bigger concept all rolled into a simple meaning that was transmitted to me.  That is one clear indicator of true inner guidance, it speaks in concepts.  I understood at once, without words, that if I follow this advice this plesant feeling would be a part of a lifestyle of eating healthier and more in tune with my body’s wishes.  It didnt even take me half a thought to say yes and thus started the moment I have been meat free.  I looked back on this event from a few months down the road and it was amazing the transformation that took place.  I didnt even have a last meal, cannot remember the last piece of meat I ate or have I once craved or desired meat since.  I feel sorry for anyone that makes such a lifestyle decision for purely mental reasons and struggles against their body signals.  

I gained more than I thought in that moment.  I had been wanting to cook more, eat healthier, and experiment with varied cuisines.  These were all little desires in my head and I was trying to work with them, but only in small ways.   Switching a staple food from my diet instantly forced me in the best possible way to explore new foods and styles and I have been forever happier from this experience.  The same process occured when alcohol left my life.  Had you told me at the begining I wouldn’t be eating meat, drinking or eating French fries anymore I might have told those voices no way.   I needed enough energy to manage the transformation, and enough trust in the guidance to see it through.  What really costs you is the resistance from outside sources such as established habits, friends and environments that attempt to keep you in stasis with how you used to be.  Having enough energy to stick with your body’s guidance no matter the criticism or disbelief or advice from others that contradicts the information you have received is really the test.

In my recent case in Sweden, I was opening a stuck emotional and energetic space in me that was ready to be cleared.  Whatever the cause, physical or emotional, the signals roughly tend to be similar.  The day before I noticed early on the extra demands for energy.  A lack of enthusiasm, a diminished vocal capacity and need to express myself in speech, slight muscle ache as my body repaired itself slower.  I understood that a process was happening to me, that this was going to require energy, my participation was requested, and thus I acted accordingly.  I cancled all my plans, I rested and I fasted*.  I could easily have kept along with my plans, I would have been tired, but I could have kept going like so many people do day in and day out.  Never feeling their best, but certainly can go on.  Despite our belief that multitasking is efficient and a skill to be honed, we can actually only process one task at a time.  Human beings are only very efficient at ‘switching’ between tasks rapidly which looks like multitasking.  Thus instead of multitasking and taking on the job of processing this healing phase and continuing about my daily life I chose the higher priority: My health.  My health is my number one priority, because without health the possibility to enjoy life is drastically diminished.  That isnt to say I am perfect, but when I am aware enough, I make the best choice available to my understanding.  I gave my body one day and all my energy to literally transmute something physical needing to be changed and woke up the next day perfectly recovered and ready to ride some roller coasters.  Why this particular process required so much energy and a physical response I may never know, but I have been living in and experiencing the new (actually old) emotions coming out of this space and gaining more awareness into my inner world.  If you ever find yourself heading towards a healing phase or see the signs of an oncoming sickness, pay attention and perhaps the this information will be of use.

*Fasting: There is substantial research on the effect of fasting for health.  A typical human body can go around 30-90 days without food before the demand for sustenance returns.  During this abstaining process the substantial demands of energy for digestion are instead used for healing and house cleaning purposes.  Many miraculous healings are attributed to following a fasting regimine under physician guidance.  A short fast of 3-10 days can improve many simple ailments and knock out simple sicknesses if started early and ample rest is added.
  
Steps to start managing your energy and signals:

-Energy coming into your system:
The nourishment you consume is directly the energy that will be available to you.  You are literally what you eat as it becomes the building blocks of new cells.  Eating as clean as possible will allow your body to easily digest the food and turn it into energy.  This is your one real responsibility concerning managing your body directly, everything else is mostly an internal process handled without your conscious involvement.  Remember, digestion costs energy, thus eating properly mixed foods, light on time consuming meat products will leave you with energy after digestion and will not cost you a nap (think of the thanksgiving nap effect of over eating).

-Remove all artificial products from your diet.  High on the list is artificial sugars, chemicals and msg.  Not only does your body treat these substances as toxins and thus must expend extra energy to contain and expel them, they are neuro toxins inhibiting your brain’s normal signals.  This physically reduces your awareness over such body signals as satiation, craving, addiction, and signs of distress.  If those chemicals didnt give your brain a boost of pleasure, you would feel immediatly the toxic effects of these substances rather than feeling the effects at a delayed response.  Read your labels!  If you consume many processed and packaged foods or fast food, tough as it might be to change your habits, try to eliminate as many of these energy costs as possible.

-Reduce your intake of meat.  
Muscle fibers are the toughest food substances for the body to break down. If you want more energy available to you the first place you can recover some is from reducing the work load on your digestive system.  Most meats take up to 14 hours to fully break down, so remember to really chew.  Several studies have shown that meat and dairy consumption over a certain limited amount may cause many of the “Western Diseases” due to inflamation such as coronary disease, diabetes, obesity, and cancer.  Your body is an amazing machine able to digest much of the variety of foods ingested across the globe.  However too much of certain foods your body already spends a lot of energy digesting actually reach a point where your body goes into defense mode rather than digestion, storing these extra toxins as fat because it cannot expel the material quickly enough without auto intoxicating. 

-Try switching as much of your dairy intake to non cow sources such as goat.  Goat dairy lacks the casien protien found in cow milk which studies show human beings have a hard time digesting. This is also why babies are given goat milk if the mother cannot provide. 

-Reduce drastically or permanently alcohol use.
As for alcohol, moderation is key. Unless you are seriously committed to retaining every bit of energy and awareness, alcohol will continue to cost you some degree of energy and will, as its primary effect reduce your awareness.  These effects resolve themselves usually by the next morning and based on your desire to be more aware, consumption is at your discretion.  

-Begin to meditate.
Any kind of meditation will serve the purpose here, which is to pay more attention to your state of being.  Stop for a moment and really check in with your body.  Really feel what is going on there.  You live in this amazing thing and the amount of senses it contains which are always giving you feedback is astounding.  Having a clear mind really helps with this, but isnt required to begin to benefit.  Your body knows what is needed at all times to be in a state of health and is constantly trying to tell you.  There will be no major roadsigns or sheets of instructions.  There will be subtle sensations and feelings, always guiding you towards the one state of health if you choose to listen.  Our minds and egos would love to do steps 1-2-3 and be finished, but managing our energy is a moment to moment responsibility.  

-Learn Kinesiology, also known as Muscle Testing.
If you are seriously interested in learning a direct technique to ask your body questions and get answers then this is the method for you.  It requires two people to be done, but it can be learned to be done solo.  This technique tests the energy state of the body in response to a stimuli.  There is a small amount of electricity in the body at all times.  If a positive stimuli is tested on the body it will remain strong, likewise if a negative stimuli is tested, it interupts your circuitry and your body will go weak.  It’s pretty cool once you experience it for yourself. The trust comes when something gives you a negative response, perhaps something you like to eat, will you remove it from your diet or not listen to the information your body gives you? Things may change again in the future, but if you cannot experiment with changes in your habits and exercise some self control to see things change then hold onto this technique until you are ready.  I will devote an entire post to this single topic as I use it every day of my life.  In the mean time please read David Hawkins “Power Vs. Force” which is certainly at the top of the list in being informative as to the studies and power of this technique.  The begining is a bit heady on the science, but then it mellows out into easy reading.
 
Once a certain degree of communication is reached between your body and awareness, the process becomes automatic.  You will feel the instant something goes off or goes right.  You can then at that moment start a new process of self discovery into the cause of the change.  Did something I just consume cause a noticable difference?  Did my environment change in some way?  Did my emotional state just change?  Am I feeling my best, and if not what can I change?  These changes are happening all the time, below the surface of common awareness.  To give them the attention they deserve is the first step in listening to what they tell you.  Which leads to following what guidence you understand.  This will leave you with a better internal communication system, better health and the knowledge that you can always take care of yourself because the guidence is always present and speaking with you.  Your body is the very instrument, like a string always vibrating.   

“Remember this pain is not to cause you suffering, this pain is to make you more aware!”  -OSHO

Become more aware and pains of all sorts begin to melt away.  Other pangs and pains may appear to guide you as your new guidance system develops which is how I mostly receive my guidance.  Leave the judgements at the door and be thankful for any sensations in your body. They are all messages whether ‘painful’ or ‘pleasurable’. Gaining a greater degree of physical health leads inevitably to greater emotional, psychological and spiritual health.  You have started on the journey.  Blessings.

-Other resources for further research
Most of this information first reached my understainding by books and recommendations.  Here are many that fit within this topic and I hope they help you as much as they did me.
– www.earthing.com – Products for grounding your body inside a home or workspace to gather those free electons.  I use one of these everytime I work on a computer and I sleep with one of these every night!
– Ask and it is Given, By Esther and Jerry Hicks –  Teaching by Abraham about using your emotional guidance system to manifest anything you want, including your health.  Another comprehensive resource on listening to your body signals.
– Green for Life, By Victoria Boutenko – The importance and ease of including a green smoothie in your diet to fulfill your actual nutritional needs.  This is like rocket fuel when consumed for breakfast!
– Fasting and Sunbathing, By Robert Shelton –  The resource on fasting.  Dr. Shelton has supervised over 50,000 water fasts for health and healing of disease.  http://www.soilandhealth.org/02/0201hyglibcat/020127shelton.III/020127.toc.htm
– Forks Over Knives, Film.  Information about the health benefits of eating a whole foods, plant based diet to combat many “Western Diseases” that we face today.  Covers research from two prominent scientists and the China Study.  
– The China Study – http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_China_Study
 A 20 year comprehensive study into nutrition and its effects on humans.

Sweden: Old World Beauty and Telling the Truth

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The shift is dramatic from the natural beauty of Iceland to the charm and magnificence of human engineering.  It has been a good number of years since I last laid eyes on a European city.  The staggering amount of stonework moved into one location over the centuries never fails to amaze the senses.  Add onto the facade the delicate artistry and decoration throughout the ages and this leaves me spellbound with a twinge of unexplained nostalgia to curl up under the black topped roofs with a steaming cup of tea and wonder at the magic of winter.  
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Stockholm, where I find myself thankfully at the end of summer, is a compilation of 14 islands dating back to 1250 with roots in Viking history.  Known for its beauty, clean water and 3 hours of sun in the winter, I am surrounded by picturesque views of grand buildings and boats on every waterfront; no wonder it is sometimes called the Venice of the north.  
20130919-193306.jpgI have taken a turn to Sweden to visit a few couchsurfing friends and my Stockholm connection is Milla.  She lives in Sodermalm, what used to be the working class part of town.   It is now know for a bohemian, alternative culture and slightly privileged young, but as Stockholm is one of the fastest growing cities, every living quarter is gentrifying and as the prices continue to rise young people are finding it harder and harder to locate affordable accommodation in the city.  Locals engage enthusiastically in the direction of their city and various construction projects are on hold and even entering legal proceedings as citizens challenge the government on actually improving the city and not just aiming at bringing in more tourist dollars and luxury apartments, further forcing the young out of the city.  Milla kindly puts me on their “drunk mattress” in their second bedroom: the kitchen.   I’ve never slept in a kitchen anywhere; I’ve slept on decks, hammocks, couches and bathtubs, but I’m sad to say I never slept in my own kitchen just to say I had. I think when I sleep in a hallway that will about complete the set. 

20130919-193236.jpgSweden is expensive to put it simply. The citizens put money into the system and reap the benefits, but travelers get hit with the costs up front.  Public transportation is about 3$ a hit, museums are 15$ each and while you can find some less expensive drinks, expect around 9$.  The pastries are a delightful surprise when I find out many of them contain cardamom and the rye bread sweetened with lingonberries is a new favorite of mine.  

20130919-193215.jpgGamla Stan, Old town, is a fantastic place to stroll around and feel connected to the old world beauty of Stockholm, just close your eyes to all the tourist additions and dont bother eating with the inflated prices.  Climb the tower of city hall, the view is worth the price and happens to be the least expensive.  City hall is also where the Nobel ceremony is held if you wish to pay the standard museum  fare to see it first hand.  You can see the Palace Chapel for free which is quite magnificent.  Most museums have a day on which they are free so take advantage of that starting your first day.  I managed to see the Nordiska museum for free and was amazed at their collection of jewelry, some was even made of hair that looked just like metal to me. There was also a nice display on place settings over the centuries which really explained the table settings at my best friends home who have Swedish roots.  

 

20130919-193316.jpgI happened upon stockholm city center just as I foolishly thought I had covered most of downtown on foot.  Here were the amounts of people I had expected to find, laying around fountains and sipping coffee.  Coincidently I also discovered that the police were out in force blocking off streets and causing much transportation havoc due to a visit by president Obama.  Strange I thought, he had just vacationed a stones throw from me in Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts and now followed in my footsteps to Stockholm.  Of course my path to Djurgarden was impeeded by his motorcade route, but I undertook my patriotic duty and waved back as he passed on his way.  

20130919-193325.jpgDjurgarden is another of Stockholms islands and home to skansen, the zoo and theme park, as well as many museums, including ABBA and a giant park.  In my stroll through the park, I wandered into a small dreamland for me.  A huge hedge labarynth sprung out of my forest path and I cleared my head as I walked its maze.  The maze happened to be of a different layout than I am used to which was a plesant surprise.  

20130919-193254.jpgThen I found myself in a sprawling sustainable garden.  Complete with a cafe and large beautiful grounds for eating and having a picnic.  There were apple and pear trees everywhere with ripe fruit, green houses, and a flower and vegitable garden.  Obviously I took my lunch here and soaked in the nature and beauty of the grounds.  Here was an integrated example of organic farming with public support and it looked great.  Great pangs of longing to halt my travels and live an integrated lifestyle sprang up.  The dream is alive and well, but I have more traveling and learning to accomplish first.

20130919-193244.jpgI hopped a plane to Gothenburg and was met by my good friend Johanna.  We met under unusual circumstances in Kansas City; obviously guided by the universal intervention of one crazy neighbor banging on my door luring me down to the park with the “there is someone you just have to meet” line.  It was slightly strange to realize we were both in Sweden and at the same time felt completly normal, like a year and a half hadent passed since our last contact and we weren’t in the states anymore.  Johanna lives in Falkenberg on the western coast.  A popular vacation spot for Europeans.  

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I arrived just past the vacation season, but it was still unseasonably warm and the water was still pleasant.  I would say it was a nice mix between Seaside Florida, the planned community with quaint pastel beach homes, and a summer on cape cod.  White sandy beaches, about 80F and slightly cooler ocean temperatures, anyone from the northeast wouldnt have even noticed the difference.  I was surprised to put “summer ocean retreat” and Sweden together, but alas Sweden doesnt really come onto the radar much for Americans with our own summer destinations much closer to home.

 20130919-193343.jpgJohanna works at the spa hotel on the beach and was kind enough to take a vacation for my visit.  We ate some local food, went mushroom hunting in the pristine local woods (they also have loads of moss as well!), gathered various fruits from the multitude of fruit trees all over the city, rested our feet and caught up over long conversations.

20130919-193402.jpgWe took a day in Gothenburg to ride roller coasters, a Sunday in fact because apparently the world turns upside down on Sundays.  First the busses and trains are all off schedule.  They arrive on opposite side of the tracks, to many a persons confusion, and yet things very much went our way. On the train we met our new friend Will, a travel writer from Colorado, exploring Sweden’s coast.  We would later be on the same flight to Copenhagen and spend a few hours conversing about many topics.  Once arrived at the theme park, we were often ushered to the front of lines so that other larger groups could ride together.  We got soaked, we conqured fears of heights and we laughed so hard it hurt.  Peoples faces and screams provide such good humor I quite forgot how much laughter is involved in rollar coasters.  And laughter if you didn’t know makes you happy and creates the same state as meditation. This pretty much sucsessfully concluded my activities and tour of Sweden.  A wonderfully enjoyable feast for the eyes with much more to explore. 

20130919-193410.jpgWhile speaking with Will on the topic of writing, as I am just getting used to these blog posts and my writing skills, I didnt really know how to address Sweden other than my talking points above.  I wasn’t moved tremendously by any event special to Sweden. The city was magically beautiful and I enjoyed all that sprang into existence, but my writings are to be about revelations and walking the path.  Will advised me that if you dont know what to write, write the truth.  Thus the truth is something else happened to me while in Falkenberg which consumed a full day and was personal to me.  However the topic is a global and practical one which I now see much benefit in trying to address.

Managing your health and energy, with awareness.  Coming in part 2

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Iceland: Manifesting sunshine in the middle of a storm

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Its the first day of international travel, you’re tired, you’re excited, its raining and you have no plans. Welcome to Iceland. Newspaper headlines warning travelers of an untimely winter storm coming in from the north; Do not travel under penalty of death. Between a 4 hour wait in the lobby or exploration; I strap on that much needed rain jacket and warm clothes because i never thought to check the summer weather in Iceland. Its 10C (50F) and vibrantly green. It reminds me of the urban jungle of Seattle, I swear some of the newer buildings on the waterfront are recent immagrants. In winter the sun barely rises, which is probably why the buildings are painted bright colors and Iceland ranks 4th in coffee consumption per capita. I wander the streets between the bursts of rain, visit a few attractions and soak in the public pool, fed by volcanic warm waters. I am pretty happy with myself for getting out and soaking the place in when normally i would just curl up with a good book and drink tea.

My story of Iceland is a culmination of events, syncronised over 40 hours that lines up just right. With the right people, at the right time, with the right attitude and viola: Sunshine in a storm. Before i relate the tale i want to talk about creating synchronicity. I hope everyone has experienced this phenomenon before In little and big ways. Synchronicity is a blend of perspective, attitude and staying in the moment. If i had been lacking any of those elements i could have had the same journey and certainly not felt esctatic every moment i lived it. Being aware is half the battle and choosing to be happy with whatever is, is the other half. I had no plans, no goals, and nothing to accomplish or get upset over. Before heading to Iceland i only knew 3 things, i would like to see some natural beauty, i would love to soak in a natural hot spring, and there was a free concert on Saturday night (Of Monsters and Men, natives of Iceland) and one other thing which i forgot till it slapped me in the face, but ill get to that. If i got to do those things, great; if not, who cares, whatever else i would do would be perfect enough. It is too often that we have an expectation for how our life or day should be. To let go of the how and let the universe fill in the details is to be in the moment. This obviously requires chilling out, taking it down a notch and killing off part of your ego. Take more time to notice life around you, that you are alive and presumably well. Be thankful for the moment of awareness. This is the start of the journey of transformation. Practice well and stay alert. Then you will be grateful for the little moments when things always go your way, and aware enough when you think they aren’t going your way to see the bigger picture and know you are being shifted and your expectation should be dropped. I am on a journey to discover myself, meditate and learn about sustainable living: this is going to take a lot of letting go so that I may be directed to the best outcome and help many people along the way. May you also enjoy every moment going your way and spread the joy. Thus without further ado the story:

The instigating factor may be an impromptu couchsurfing meetup in the city. Im not into drinking, but I love to meet people so I resolve myself to check off my couchsurfing (CS) requirements in Iceland in this manner. I meet some locals, some foreginers and a guy off the street freshly intoduced to the world of CS and loving it. The forcast for tomorrow is a hot debate. My phone alerts me in no certain terms that cloud cover is in order, but rain in short supply. The locals really think the worst is coming and in Icelandic style prefer to stay inside and wait out the storm because people die when the weather turns bad. The first good sign arrives because at some point when I run down 4 flights of stairs and track down a girl who left her phone on the way to the airport. Miraculously i find her and notice the sun for the first time as seen here:

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Kana my new Japanese friend and I are hot to rent a car and see some sights since we both just know the weather is going to be perfect, because hey, it has to be. Over trying to accept the weather cautions of the locals and taking in their recommendations for things to see we meet Julien, our new French friend who already has a car! After slight convincing to drive tomorrow if the weather is indeed nice we have our plans straight.

Kana and I walk home sharing our good mood about how a car just manifested and that tomorrow is going to be amazing when I grab her arm in the middle of the street. She screems and flails her arms wildly trying to fend off the invisible car she thinks she has just stepped in front of. I finally direct her attention skyward where my jaw is dropped and the vivid swirling greens of the northern lights are smack overhead right between the cloud cover. I had quite forgotten that people come to Iceland to see the Aurora, completely forgetting it was something I truly wanted to see in this life and here it was visable in the city raining its light on me. This was truly going to be a wonderful trip. I stated then and there no matter what happens, Iceland was a success. I could sit inside for 2 days and would be happy because I got to see something I thought I would have had to sit in the snow for hours waiting for with no certain outcome and here it was a free gift for looking up at the right time.

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I awoke the next morning to sun breaking through clouds and knew our adventure was on. I am about to travel around Iceland with two new friends who just happen to speak collectively the 3 languages I speak. I don’t think this can get any more synchronistic or fun for me. We can see the rain clouds moving on as we move inland revealing to us the alien landscape formed by volcanoes. Starkly sharp rocks butting up against vividly green and surprisingly quite spongy moss. The most moss ive ever seen in my life in fact. It seems such a rare thing, moss, and yet Iceland is overflowing with it. The local stories of Trolls taking naps in this landscape sound quite understandable. We arrive at the double waterfall gullfoss as the clouds break and sun bestows its grace upon this national landmark. With the roaring waters and mist rising in the morning sun a rainbow graces our lone presence at this majestic site.

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We move to the next stop, a gyser, as the clouds cover the waterfall again only to part at our next destination. Boiling water regularly rising 75-100 feet in the air is certainly a sight to see. The next stop that completes the golden circle tour, touted as the number one tourist excursion with good reason, is the national park. Driving through the breathtaking landscape surrounding a lake we thought we had taken in the location. We decided to stop on a side road to see if we could get a better look over the lake and wind up at a crack in the earth widening every year by 2 centimeters. You can still see the curves of the lava flow in the rock and the straight edges of the plate where it splits the world. Thank you geology class on volcanoes for all the tidbits I still retain. We really took our time exploring the area, the view and the rock formations were something to really take in. This is the location the tourists are brought too and we found it by mistake. The beauty of these locations, with the sun shining high on blue and fluffy clouds couldn’t be more spectacular. We head to our next location, off the beaten track. At the end of a nearby fjord is an hour hike to glymer foss, Iceland’s tallest waterfall at 198meters. Situated in a lush valley shaped like the hull of a ship extending from the fjord to mountains holding back a lake, we climbed across moss, through a small cave, over a river and up rocks to reach my favorite experience. Striking green, flowing water, birds circling this high crevice, and once again graced by a rainbow I breathed in the awe and wonder that this adventure had brought me. What divine beauty lined up all the pieces to accomplish this sensation? I started with no knowledge and reaching this pinnacle of experience am floored at not only the immediate beauty, but the expanding feeling of cooperating with the universe at each step. A universe which cares for me deeply, always helping me be ever present and living in a state of gratitude has reached this magical place inside and out. Sitting unnervingly close to the edge for my friend Julien’s slight fear of heights I poured myself into the earth and pulled out the deep calm knowing that this whole trip would be filled with experiences such as this, inner changing landscapes and simple grace offered always and freely.

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After 11 hours so far there is more icing on this cake. Just outside the fjord is a local hotpot, another recommendation from the CS locals.

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The only thing I really asked for was a natural hotspring experience and we were about to have it. I wanted to jump in the ocean, then the hotpot and roar with accomplishment of having braved the elements in Iceland. However, sitting there for 20 minutes, in a swimming suit, trying to submerge ourselves into probably 46C (114F) water was not going to our plan. Despite Julien and my attempts to submerge ourselves for 3-5 seconds at a time the water was just too scalding and we had to settle for the short dips and hilarious attempts at entry into the pool.

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We head straight to the concert and find parking as utterly close as possible to reach on foot, another perfect circumstance. Kana is wavering between sleep and standing, but I am enjoying myself immensely. I think now had we soaked, we all would have been exhausted and thus our struggle was truly for the best. Julien even recognized a song and everyone had a laugh over the name of the band. They thought “Of Monsters and Men” would have been a much more rock show than the mellow easy tunes that they really are. Dancing to a light mist and a wonderful day, we all couldn’t be happier for a hot shower and some much deserved sleep.

Awaking to another day of no plans, utterly content to read and write inside since the rain returned, I was surprised to find in the kitchen a nice lady who just started telling me about a little known hotpot in Reykjavik city. Out of the way of tourists and with a clear view of the mountains, it sounded like pure joy on a day like this. I message Kana and we arrange to check it out before she leaves with another CS friend to tour the rest of the island for a week. As we are walking, because buses don’t run regularly on Sundays, we decide we need a taxi to make it on time. Within 1 minute one shows up out of nowhere and viola we are on our way. We are dropped off relatively close since I am going to have to discover this place on our own. It takes some peeking, but soon discover a hole cut into a large rock, enough to cover 2 people just enough and watch the weather enter the city.

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Pure bliss, perfect temperature, and a view, what else could one ask for? Well we get called heroes by a few local hikers for stripping down in the current weather, but it feels blissfully warm to me. Again we have trouble with the bus going home and after 5 minutes successfully accomplish another task for my life, to hitchhike. A nice lady who normally has her car full with her 3 kids picks us up, glad to finally help some travelers. I am reminded of a line from Murakami’s 1Q84 “Everything is not as it may seem. You are about to do something out of the ordinary.” The rest of your day will look and be different. Our day was changed with the kindness of strangers and worked out to reach our destination on time and her day will be changed by doing something out of the ordinary and with the gratitude of helping us. I say my goodbye’s and promises to keep in touch with kana. I fill the rest of my day with Julien; eating delicious noodles and soaking for 3 hours at the blue lagoon. An expensive spa experience with milky blue waters and various types of water experiences.

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I waltz through airport security simply because there was none. Being the 8th person into the airport I never got my ID checked, but still managed a x-ray on my bag. I felt I was in a scene from “The Langoliers” with the whole airport empty. Leaving was as easy as arriving. No fuss and a lot of smiles. I actually laughed myself to sleep when recounting the whole episode and thinking I’ve got another 1000 days to enjoy mastering this new way of being.

100 items to travel the world

100 items

You are looking at my belongings for the next 3 years.  This all fits into a 50 liter backpack and weighs around 25 pounds.  I am carrying with me quite a few extra items that wouldn’t normally be included in such a minimalist journey such as my circus toys, but I am certain all the hours of practice will pay off in the long run.  This will be a quick post basically just showing what I am taking to help others possibly plan what they will take and perhaps I will adjust a few items depending on how they work over the long run.  My journey will mainly be in spring summer and fall weathers with no real excursions into winter time.  I am bringing a jacket for cool nights, but nothing for sustaining a cold winter environment.  I know there is a movement out there amongst people who own homes to reduce their possessions down to 100 items.  I wonder how I stack up.

Deuter 50L backpack
Rei 22L daypack
Clothes
2 Prana stretch quick dry pants (1 with zip off legs)
1 Kuhl shorts
1 Rei ¾ yoga pants (my every situation shorts I call them, I love these actually)
1 Jeans (I may drop these, but I am spending some more fall months at the beginning of my trip)
1 belt
1 bandana
1 hot chilies long underwear pants
2 exofficio quick dry underwear
4 regular underwear
4 pair wool socks
2 icebreaker 150 weight wool t-shirts
1 icebreaker 200 weight wool t-shirt
1 icebreaker 150 weight long sleeve shirt
1 icebreaker 250 weight long sleeve shirt
1 cotton t-shirt
1 cotton tank top
1 sarong/scarf/beach towel/favorite daily wear item I own!
1 felt jacket
2 cotton button down shirts
1 cotton vest
1 pair Birkenstock clogs
1 pair vibram speed toe shoes
1 pair keen sandals
1 rain jacket
Electronics
iPhone 5
Wireless keyboard
80GB iPod
2 pair apple headphones, plus 1 other throw away pair of cheap headphones
1 point&shoot camera as backup w/ 8GB card
1 steripen ultra UV water purifier
1 photon led light white
1 led light red
1 mini portable speaker for playing music
1 64GB flash drive
Gear
1 travel pillow
1 waterproof iPhone bag
1 dry sack
1 32oz water bottle
1 24oz insulated thermos (might drop this)
1 journal and pens
Possibly my yoga mat, we will see (can certainly drop this and get a new one anytime)
Toiletries (Toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, deodorant, tweezers, nail clippers, mirror, soap bottles, quick dry towel,  Boiron homeopathic, razor and blades, q-tip, band aids, cloth tape and ear plugs)
1 combo lock
1 Travel alarm clock
safety pins
1 sewing kit
various carabineers
Circus toys
1 pair sock poi (practice)
1 pair flowtoys led poi
4 juggling balls red
1 contact juggling ball green (practice)
1 contact juggling ball acrylic
2 cheap mini led lights blue (for nighttime illusion)
Healing/Tarot
1 deck & book Osho zen tarot cards
1 deck rumi cards
1 zero point energy wand
1 tsumo shin acupressure probe
1 bundle healing discs on carabineer
1 set 7 color ribbons
1 spaghetti measure
Necklaces and rings
2 stones, Shiva lingam and labradorite

80+Toiletries 20 = roughly 100 items, depending how you count; hooray!

I have limited clothes with me as many people might see, but I have seen people traveling with exactly 2 sets of clothes. While I am not ready to trim down that slim yet, all the clothes I have with me I love to wear. If it isnt something i can just throw on and love to be in everyday it doesnt come with me. Everything but the few cotton items are quick dry lightweight and/or wool which keeps smell virtually absent and keeps your temperature regulated very well. I will be in the same type of look everyday and that is fine with me. If i need something else i will buy it and figure it out. I have roughly been wearing this set of clothes for the last 3 months for everyday wear, work on the farm and my travels to Canada. So far i have only come to love and really enjoy each piece well and really surprised how much I use the yoga pants which I was unsure of at first. I know that all I really need is a toothbrush, set of clothes, cash and my passport and the rest will work itself out. Thankfully the rest of the stuff I am bringing all serves my learning experiences and I hope I use all of it very often. I hope i can encourage everyone to live with a little less and clean out your closets! Living with less stuff takes such a burden off the mind and I have really been looking forward to just having my backpack so the decisions are less and my mind is free to enjoy life. Happy Travels

My Future Vision of a Way of Life

I am not going to work anymore and I am going to get everything I have ever wanted.  I want to build a sustainable intentional community.  I want to live a life of play and enjoyment centered on community and everything that I do helps to directly build a better life experience.  I am certain there are plenty of jobs out there that are exciting and fun, but as for work; no more work.  I am talking about the experience of working, exchanging time for money, then trading that money for your life experience has got to go.  I want to cut out the middle man and make my work my play and my play my life.  I am happy to give effort, sweat, energy and even blood at times, but I will not do work in a direction that isn’t aimed directly at growing my life experience.  I want to create an experience of living that is free and enjoyable and I hope I can help you discover the same.  I have a vision for a daily way of life that is simple yet expansive.  I tried to combine everything that I love to experience into one setting as best as it can be done and also allowing for everyone else’s similar desires to be expressed.  I want to participate in the activities that bring me joy every day instead of really only experiencing those a few times a month or even a year.  I don’t want myself or anyone to ‘work hard’ for this, but I will spend every hour of my day creating it.  I want to free everyone from the trappings of money, yet still participate in commerce.  I want to try a different style of life that focuses on happiness and connection.  Ive distilled this vision into the following mission statement which will continue to evolve as my awareness does.

“To create a living community of self reliance and interdependent cooperation based on three main principals: Responsibility of Food, Responsibility of Health and Responsibility of Creativity.  These principals are to be developed and used in a community of peers of all ages, with specific attention to Aesthetic Beauty in our endeavors, and based on the understanding of impermanence as the natural law of the universe.  This community is to be a living example of a sustainable way of life in co-habitation with nature with the expressed purpose of sharing the experience of each aspect in all moments for residents, guests and the liberation of all people.”

 

This is the outline for the principals that guide the experience of life I am looking for.  I have a specific vision of what daily life will look like for me, but these guidelines allow for everyone to create their specific vision as well, not just mine.  I picture a beautiful day punctured with moments of joy, experienced by being totally present over a cup of tea, tending the garden, visiting the special spots in the landscape, the hubbub of community meals, someone playing music across a field, meditating so that all beings may experience happiness, taking care of my body with long soaks or massage, ecstatic play with children and toys, having deep conversations, creating specialty health foods, helping people see new solutions for growth and resolution of problems, feeding everyone with food, love and a dream life that is enjoyed through devotion.  I want to play hard at creating this and so much more.  So many people want to work hard to enjoy even less, but the universe is always saying YES!  Yes to more, yes to joy, yes to overcoming pain and suffering, yes to love, yes this doesn’t have to be hard.  Do I have expectations and wild ideas that won’t turn out, of course, but aiming the purpose of a way of life at this idea, at the expansiveness and inclusion of everything rather than our current alternatives resonates so deeply with me, that this community is a foregone conclusion.  I can only begin to dream at the beautiful process of its creation, with the beautiful people I know who want to help me now, and those new people that will join in the future.  The explosion of joy and accumulation of energy will hardly be contained in manifesting the best outcome for all.

The purpose of creating this sustainable community is to give people a choice at how to go about their daily lives.  If a person is given a roof over their head and food to eat in exchange for 2-3 hours of their time a day; then encouraged to grow, create and expand for the rest of their day, what possibilities are available?  This type of direct living experience is the cornerstone of what I wish to create, instead of the cornerstone being money and control.  There are other communities that are doing this in various degrees.  Some create a mix of community and still holding a job outside to pay for it, while others aim at a more integrated local experience.  I wish to create a local experience for all members where we not only sustain ourselves physically, but also run cottage businesses to grow our community and provide a degree of finical freedom to each person so they may live the fullest expression of their purpose.  I believe this system will create freedom and happiness for anyone living here as well as extending that intention into the local community around us.  I am traveling the world to study existing communities so that I may better understand my own vision and how to create it.

My very short practical vision looks like a vacation spot for people to experience this type of life.  It is like a bed and breakfast tucked comfortably into a university, teaching hands on experience of how to work and play at the same time.  I want to have multiple residences on the property of unique and wild design so that visitors and residents can cycle through the homes and always experience something fun and different.  A few wild ideas I want included are a hobbit hole, a tree house perhaps shaped like a pirate ship, a living house of sculpted plants, and a Japanese room with an open air garden in the center with a stream flowing through the floor to the outside garden.  We will have a large vegetable garden and fruit orchard that will supply us with much of our food and allow us to use the surplus to exchange for other foods we don’t grow.  There will be a main house with the kitchen where everyone gathers for meals if they wish.  There will be a Japanese style bath house for its lovely experience and the conservation of water.  Included will be soaking pools, a sauna, and an isolation float tank.  There will be a hall for community meditation, yoga and other group activities as people see fit to practice.  Residents will be encouraged to build their own dwelling of their unique creation to further the cycle.  We will aim to be mostly self sufficient, yet still bring in resources, monetary or otherwise from visitors spending time and from whatever services, teaching or creations are made for sale.  I plan to bring monetary resources to start this place, with the aim that once it is established no more is needed, yet more may always be created.

I understand this is quite a broad scope, but I think living a life that expresses unlimited potential is a direction we need to embrace.  I have spoken to so many people in my generation and they understand and desire some form of this expression at a very deep level.  To begin living towards our happiness is our generations calling.  With a new vision we can begin to live a different way right now, and little by little begin to build a better way so that others may have a choice.  We may not be able to change all that we feel is wrong with the world, but we can start to outgrow it by living the way we want to right now and leave the rest behind.  I hope you will start working toward your happiness now and join me in the future. Blessings and happiness to all.

 

-The wandering monk

 

 

 

Here is a slightly more detailed explanation of the core principals as I see them:

Responsibility of Food

This is the first fundamental pillar of the community.  If you want a continued existence on this planet you must eat well.  What to eat is pure choice as our bodies can handle consuming such a wide variety of foods.  This variety has gotten many people into serious health problems due to lack of knowledge and body awareness.  Creating a personal responsibility for what, when and how much food you consume is therefore a necessity.  Consuming organic, local and nutrient dense foods will go a long way to solving many problems for most people.  Food is the ground floor, without your energy source being clean and actually nourishing, it would be very hard to build a life of enjoyment and creativity if you are constantly polluting your body and fighting your digestive demands for energy.

Information and experience are key factors here.  Teaching people about healthy food choices and then feeling the difference from eating this way is the solution I think will work best for creating sustaining change.  Often people will attempt to diet based on guilt or body image, but only a lifestyle change to a sustainable and enjoyable way of eating will work.  Without taking responsibility for what you eat it is very easy to consume toxins and poisons, usually for the most mundane of reasons: Taste and convenience.  If you lose your foundation of health every aspect of life suffers.  Once people have experienced the health and joy from eating fresh, local, organic, in season foods, grown with their own hands, investing their own effort and care into their food source, they will understand how delicious and easily available food can be in this system and the wellbeing that follows.

 

Responsibility of Health

Ultimately you are the only person responsible for your own health and body.  To treat yourself with the utmost care so that you may have the greatest expression of joy and happiness in this life experience is your responsibility.  Health is the natural state of being, and you must constantly choose to support yourself.  Once the obstacles to health have been removed no more effort is needed other than to not place new obstacles in the way.  There is only one state of health, a natural state of being, while dis-ease has many expressions.  Therefore there are many ways to treat and cure dis-eases, but once this work is accomplished everyone arrives at the one state of health.  Responsibility of health covers learning healing practices from all of these categories: Physical, Mental, Emotional, Physic, Spiritual, Psychological and Cultural.  Bringing awareness to how these categories affect your health is my current area of study and my gift to bring.

 

We are each affected by these forces and with understanding can bring our health to its maximum potential by applying ourselves to self discovery in each area.  Health is ultimately your responsibility and since you directly experience each sensation, having skills to heal and understand in each area is necessary.  Not only must we develop our faculties in each area, but in taking back responsibility for healing we can move forward under our own power or understand when asking for outside help and guidance is best.  Developing the discernment to heal and maintain our health is a personal skill and practice that we will develop here, incorporating as many practices and modalities as we have people to share them.  This is the area of development in self awareness and growth toward enlightenment.

 

 

Responsibility of Creativity

We are each creative beings.  Creativity is a force and expressing this inexhaustible source is important to living a full existence.  Creativity is not merely limited to the making of things.  We often miss-categorize creative people as only those who are artists, people who create physical objects, play music or have unique ideas.  Creativity is the ability to create, which everyone does all day long.  You continually create your existence here like a candle flame continually arises from the wick.  Understanding and applying the creative power you contain is the focus here. To create something “physical” is the easiest expression as it takes form before your eyes.  To create your own happiness, or mood; to create whatever situations or experiences you desire; this is also your creative power.  Taking responsibility for everything in your life as a product of your creation is such a hard truth to accept and yet still a subtle concept that this will take time to understand and integrate.  But once you experience and know that you are the sole creator of your experiences and feelings, this power can never be taken away from you.  It is an awe inspiring and liberating knowledge.  That all joy and sorrow you experience is of your creating and that the cause lies nowhere outside of yourself, lies in no external situation, but only in your choice of response to life.  Taking responsibility in this area is the most crucial to understanding the root of happiness and sustaining it.

 

Community

There is an aspect to human nature that is fueled and nurtured by being in community.  With the growth of technology it appears that our communities have grown, that more people are connected than ever before.  However there is a depth of connection that is lacking and by making community a focus we aim to build and nurture those deep connections.  I would love to see the creation of a global family; building authentic relationships with your neighbor to realize the oneness of all.  It is our goal to develop ourselves in and through community; to value our individualism and our gifts in relation to others.  To learn, grow and share all that we have with each other and integrate into the local and global community at large.  By developing interdependence we can maximize our potential.  To put in the least amount of effort and receive the greatest gain can only be achieved when working together for the benefit of all.   The function of donation applies strongly here as we devote ourselves to the creation of a better way of life.  When the desire for creating our way of life comes from a deep caring and gift of your time and effort, rather than from need; the growth of community deepens, by helping others, you directly help yourself.  Building community eliminates the need to do it all on your own and this frees up many of the hours of work and redundancy for each person to build a separate home, career and life of their own.  By having one home, which is the community, you grow with the support of many people, to expand your potential.  This home community will not be a conformist community as we understand the aspects of individuality and aloneness that are an integral part of existence.  The community serves to promote the highest potential for each individual and maximize connection, love and growth.

 

Aesthetic Beauty

I believe surrounding yourself with as much beauty as possible creates a fundamental difference of experience.  Natural beauty of environment is just as important as the created beauty of objects and designed spaces.  Creating consciously can transform the ordinary into something beautiful with dedication of intention.  When entering a new environment you can feel its vibration.  Beauty resonates very high and creates a peaceful relaxing experience.  Not much is required to make a space beautiful, it is also how you interact and care for a space that helps create the beauty.  Therefore dedication to beauty will be a core principal in designing and managing all buildings and objects brought into the environment.  We will include a wide range of styles so that everyone’s unique taste of beauty can be experienced, however aesthetic beauty is a mindset followed by form.  Keeping all spaces clutter free so that energy may move freely and being conscious of what objects are being brought to the space so that everything helps serve a purpose and adds to the beauty and function.  Art and art projects, especially those being created from our dedication to creativity, will help define our space and help it grow.  I would like to mix nature with minimalism to create a spa/retreat like environment that emphasizes beauty and relaxation.

 

*I have built and refined these ideas over the last few years by my self learning and the insights of others when asking them how their ideal community would be.  I am always looking for more refinement, ideas and blind spots.  If I have overlooked or left something out please bring it to my attention so this expression may grow and work for all.  Thank you

Working on the Farm: Take 1

My first 2 weeks of experience of the farm life are under my belt and my nails. That dirt never fully comes out! Playing in the dirt and rain has me feeling like a kid again with nostalgic outbursts of glee and running through sprinklers. I have learned a few things in this short time and the next 6 weeks will continue to be enlightening.

First up, farm work is hard. Farm work is not hard. I am working on an organic greens farm, no animals involved, and no produce being grown for sale only personal use. This means LOTS of hand weeding which sort of strains your back, but then you get up and the strain is gone. It’s really just a lot of time on target while hanging outside with new friends decimating the weed population, listening to music and laughing come rain, shine or bugs. You just need a little stamina to use your body all day, but no task has required any more demands than that. It is very relaxing to the mind to be using the body and I think this is the perfect task to help unwind slowly from the years of mental computer work. Oddly I find myself uttering things like “only a few more hours” or “I might take off early today”. Immediately after I wonder aloud as to why I just said that; I am not feeling those thoughts, but they are still mentally there. I am not really yearning for the day to be over, I have about zero aversion to the work I do all day, and I find putting in the full days work to be wonderful for my body and the quality of rest that fills my evenings. So the first realization is that this whole idea of “I have to go to work to get it over with” is a cultural belief and I am working to let the old habit go. I am here 100 percent by choice as are all my co-workers and everyone really loves what they are doing. It has been a great discipline to work each day by choice. I have fallen into a nice rhythm of daily work and my body has caught up with the new demands of actually using it; A far cry from sitting behind a desk. That certainly uses mental energy and lots of it, I know, so getting more in tune with the rest of my body is a nice change. Mixing equal parts of meditation, farm work and travel/play seems so far to be a great pattern to follow on my journey.
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This is the first job I have gotten of my own efforts and choosing. When I had to write my resume for this job it was startlingly short and had nothing to do with my new career path. I worked for one summer as a file clerk in a law office (setup through a contact from my father) and all the other work has been for my fathers company in semi-formal capacity during high school, then officially from 2007-13. From the time I was an early teenager I knew I had a job lined up with my family and planned for that eventuality. It wasn’t until my twenties that I learned about who I was and what I really wanted out of life. When these two paths collided by going opposite directions I had to make some choices. Leave the security of an easy paycheck to try my hand at a self directed life and grow into the potential of fulfilling my own happiness. So this job, which is really a full time volunteer/intern position, is my first stab at making my own work choices. I know that farming as the main focus is not my lifestyle nor do I have the archetype to support it. I find great joy in growing my own food and being connected to the earth directly, but my skills and talents lay in other areas. I am trying to apply my experience here to the mental scale of farm I wish to manage and I still can’t quite wrap my mind around the kind of numbers we are outputting. For instance 270lbs of pea greens were picked one week. A full plastic shopping bag is about 2 lbs for reference. I grabbed about that much 2 weeks ago and im still eating them and drinking them in my morning smoothies. That is one of the biggest crops we do, but there are many lettuces, herbs, and flowers of all sorts that leave the farm by the pounds. There are 9 people that make this magic happen over 2 acres from seed to sold. When I try to apply this to sustaining a small community of 10-20 it seems so easy in comparison to the massive output each week.

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A couple other things have turned out very nicely as well. I have co-workers for once and not clients. For the last 5 years I was basically on my own or working with my father, and the element of working life that most of my friends in offices and certainly in the service industry experience of getting to know and hanging out with co-workers was absent for me. I worked and then I went to play with my friends if I chose too. Now I have people to play with all day. Everyone is really nice and interesting and getting to know them all is so much fun. I am thinking what a wonderful lesson this is and may be overlooked by many. In my day to day life I would probably never have met any of these people, nor without spending hours a day just talking would I have gotten to know them so well and so quickly. It reminds me of my fraternity life in college. I would never have met many of those people either and yet I made some of the best friends because I got to spend hours together with them in various circumstances getting to know who they were. Its this type of community building with people who are vastly different from you that I think helps us grow the most. Surrounding yourself with similar minded people is very wonderful and builds depth, especially in conversations, but perhaps it is the people who are most different that help you grow and see different perspectives. Life is change, and the more change you can encounter the closer you may find yourself to living authentically. So go meet some people who do different things than you, try your hand at some activities that are new. You may find some you love, some that arnt for you, but all of them will help you grow and know yourself better. “Try everything once” is such a great adage for growth, just don’t fall into the trap of thinking you can peg an experience before you really try it.

So far working on the farm continues to be a great learning experience. I get access to as much fresh organic greens as I want. Lunch is typically provided via donations from around the city or making veggie stir-fry from the farms home garden. Sometimes even local or famous chefs from Boston come tour and make food. I even got my portrait taken by a local photographer who showed up. This is a great start and gives me great hope for traveling the world and wwoof-ing on other organic farms around the world and experiencing the varying differences in practices and produce. If I can make it here I can make it anywhere.
torey on the farm
http://www.wwoofinternational.org/ :Link to the wwoof-ing website

Vipassana: The simple technique to reach true happiness

“10 days of silent work, being trained through direct experience of how to cure misery so you may truly experience real happiness.”

 

If I could recommend only one experience for every person to try in this lifetime it would be a Vipassana course.

 

I wish more people knew about vipassana meditation.  It is making a resurgence across the globe after being lost to the world for almost 2500 years.  This was the original insight and method Guatama the Buddha discovered, handed down for all those years in Burma, while the rest of the world lost or forgot the pristine, universal nature of vipassana.  I was not unfamiliar with meditation, as most of the world now knows that such a practice exists, but it was the couchsurfing community that brought me to vipassana.  I had two different guests visit me right after completing their 10-day courses and I could see the glow in their faces as well as feel their calm nature.  I was set on finding 10 days to consign myself to 11 hours a day of meditation for 10 days in a row and oh yeah, totally in silence.

As soon as I made quitting my job in my mind official, I signed up for my course.  There are courses offered all around the world and each is taught in exactly the same way.  I chose to attend the center in Shelburne FallsMassachusetts as I would be in the area for other reasons.  Upon arriving I was immediately impressed with the grounds natural beauty and almost shocked that the buildings were so new and even dare I say of the standard suburban look.  I had some half expectation that everything would be rough and simple, like a monastic lifestyle.  I guess looks don’t really matter, meditating and eating delicious, yet simple vegetarian meals is about as monk as one needs to get.  Sleeping arrangements are beyond adequate.  Most men and all women had a single room and bathroom, and the rest of us men got a wood cabin outside which I was so much happier with, especially because it rained a fair amount and the sound and atmosphere this created was pure delight.  It reminded me of summer camp and pleasant nostalgia of days gone by.  Once settled we got our orientation and took our vows to follow the 5 precepts of morality (No lying, stealing, harming living beings, sexual misconduct, or any intoxicants) and the Noble Silence began.  The entire center is designed for the least amount of disturbance to the students while they work seriously and diligently on meditating.  The only problem I think anyone had with Noble Silence was not saying thank you for people holding a door open.  The days pass one hour at a time, and after each hour of staying present in the moment the past is gone and the future is just another hour.  The days feel long and short.  You practice feeling every moment yet they keep disappearing to the past.  Despite sitting all day you are tired and fall into a peaceful sleep after floating around in this state of introspection all day.

 

I thought I knew meditation, but what I was really doing was soothing my surface mind, creating a nice feeling and getting though my days peacefully.  Any meditation is great, but this technique is something far greater.  This is a direct, scientific and experiential process that cures your current misery and then goes to town on all the past miseries, stuck in your subconscious mind.  The ultimate realization is to experience fully 100 percent “Annica”, the Pali term for impermanence.  This annica is the law of the universe; that everything is changing.  That everything is constantly arising again and again and that nothing is ever the “same”.  The Truth that everything comes and goes, pleasure and pain, and not getting attached to either is enlightenment.  The process of discovery is two fold, being aware of what you are experiencing directly this moment and keeping your mind equanimous/balanced by releasing craving/desire for positive feelings and avoidance/fear of negative feelings.  By attending the course you practice hour by hour to feel the sensations really happening to you and to train your mind to be centered.  I have been told this before, ive read this before and thus I have integrated this at the intellectual level.  I believe this to be true, but that isn’t enough.  The Buddha discovered you need one more step to reach liberation; you need the EXPERIENCE of being centered and watching as misery dissolves.  The reason this course is so intensive is really because it is just enough time on target to experience the truth of this technique.  It hit me on day 8, which happened to be summer solstice, after evening tea I had a breakdown, a gut wrenching, abs burning, no holds barred laughing fit.  I practically had to stuff my hoodie into my mouth so I wouldn’t break Noble Silence for the others, but it struck me dumb, out of the blue how simple and effective this technique is.  In those 5 minutes that I laughed with pure joy everything was so clear and simple and I had known it all along.  Even in that pure joy I reminded myself, annica, this too will change; and it did, and I knew for the rest of my life that this is the true nature of the universe and everything is going to be just fine no matter what I am experiencing.

 

That was a decisive turning point.  I was half ready to get the last 2 days over with and done after struggling through days 5 & 6, but I re-concentrated myself to work and get as much benefit as I could.  This is work, its mentally challenging to stay focused on what is happening right now.  The mind is so used to moving into the future or remembering the past that the work is really just concentrating on feeling the present moment.  You will be in the middle of feeling your shoulder for instance and next thing you are aware of is that some memory has taken over your concentration for who knows how long and you have to pick up again where you left off, if you can even remember where that was.  This is what happens to us each day.  We choose to change our lives, be better at something or other and at some point invariably the mind swoops in and distracts you because that’s what its been doing your whole life.  To un-train this pattern is work, practicing again and again to have it work for you rather than “have a mind of its own”.

 

There were physical struggles too. Each I think will be unique to the individual and so too will be the break through.  My hurdle was an intense point of back pain; slowing growing from hour one till my cracking point on day 4.  Ill remind you that I was sitting for 40 minutes or so twice a day in preparation for this course and not once did I have back pain.  I have to conclude that being in this environment was affecting me from day 1 and I was moving some deep fear out of my back while also suffering from a real problem with my posture.  We were asked on day 4 that for 3 special sits, not to move one thing about your posture and be in complete stillness.  On my first try I was breathing intensely, shaking uncontrollably and grinding out the pain till the bell rang.  I wouldn’t wish to do it again, but I learned 3 great lessons from this 1 hour sitting.  After getting up, the pain disappeared 100%, reminding me the truth of the universe, anicca, this will change.  Two, that I always have a choice, I can choose to get caught up in feeling pain (or anything for that matter) or I can choose something else.  Three, it was time to make a choice and do something; update my posture in this case.  After that torturous hour, I got me some new pillows under my buttocks and knees, then on day 7 a pillow on my lap to take some weight from my arms and thus I was floating through the rest of the sits.  It was my choice all along, but I chose instead to just sit there like I had, in avoidable pain, till I learned my lesson.  Pain also helps you focus mightily.  I was almost sad to see it go because it was such a sharp point of focus I was in constantly.  I know that sounds strange, but it certainly helps illustrate how people get attached to their misery and even when something better comes along to free them they hold onto the old habit, the old pain.  I got the message loud and clear and moved into the real work of meditating.  I still struggled with just practicing and learning the technique, but letting go of my stubbornness to ask for help is what saved me.

 

In the end, I didn’t want it to be over.  I had thought many times throughout the days how this post might read and on many days it was, “The hardest thing im glad I did once”.  As the course was wrapping up, I was ready to sign up then and there for a second course.  I believe I found my next, just outside Paris in November.  Along with a new goal of attending a 10 day course in every country I spend more than a month in.  The experience is that profound.  It continues to sink in as you return to your normal life and return to the daily distractions and business of being a householder or caring for a family.  You realize quickly how much of a gift 10 silent days are in a center catered to meditation.  Even maintaining my practice with 2 hours morning and night, I am barely scratching the surface of how deep a healing occurred at this course.  Carolyn Myss said that once you establish a habit of feeing your soul meditation, don’t withhold the nutrition; make a commitment to liberation.  Even if this was a real first step on the path to enlightenment or just a few more steps down the path, I feel forever changed and will never stop walking in the direction of liberation.  May all beings be happy.  May all beings be liberated.  May all beings be at peace.

http://www.dhamma.org/

The courses are offered around the world and are donation based.  You get to try the course for free because an earlier student found it so rewarding.  If you find this isn’t for you, no pressure.

Vipassana is not a religion nor does it have anything to do with conversion.  The subject matter is universal and there for you to experience the truth of, not take anyone else’s word for.   I hope you enjoy one day.