Italian Magic

Maska

There is no mistaking being in Italy. You can feel it in the air, it’s almost buzzing. Like everything here, Italy is in your face. Not in an affronting way, it’s just the life force of Italy. You speak with your hands, the language is a no holds barred expression of feelings and the food speaks to the heart. There is a look in the faces of people and the stone that declares “we are Italy!” and we know who we are. Not every culture steps up and proclaims itself so easily.

Red trees

I spent a few days in Milan and it’s impressive duomo. The financial capital of Italy and fashion doesn’t disappoint if you are interested in shopping. I managed to find many churches tucked away on my walks and often very beautiful. Milan isn’t somewhere I feel the need to return too. A nice city in its own right and once explored leaves only the daily living experience to appeal to the senses.

me n canals

I move on to Venice and the difference is immediate. Upon stepping foot in Venice beauty surrounds you. The canals and houses are in various states of beautiful disrepair. The random trees that are somehow out of place and yet treasures to look upon. The grand works of stone construction on these little islands, often leaning suspiciously to one side. It’s all too much to comprehend how this got built here in the middle of the ocean; so you just enjoy it.

Angel canal

It strikes me at some point that there are no cars or bikes here. Everyone walks or takes a boat ride. What an odd thing in such a famous city. Other forms of transport is one of the charms that goes unnoticed for a while. The noise and pollution are so far removed you feel as if you are squeezed into a rural village. There was never any development of roads for horses or cars, only human traffic through the ages. Everywhere you turn there are wonderful little bridges, crumbling facades, and colorful laundry hanging from windows. There is a fair share of tourism as well, but go off exploring and it fades in the narrow alleyways.

canal bridge

I’ve just poked my head into another stunning church. They wanted a fee so I left. With those few glances I saw what I would comprehend. Master works of painting, skillful stone work, and years worth of prayer and ceremony. A short stroll further and I found myself at the open ocean. I looked down and found my hands in prayer and found it odd I felt more at peace with the sounds of the ocean softly rolling onto a stone shore than in another church. I have been stopping in many on my travels and praying or perhaps rather meditating and positive thinking, which amounts to the same thing. I have the time and I like to see how the church feels for me. Often the high domed ceilings offer more wonder with eyes open than closed. Perhaps that was their purpose, for God is only found inside, but these masterpieces must somehow try to glimpse that inner wonder and convey it to the material world. I think the ceremony and singing are an Indispensable part of feeling a churches presence, but most only hold tourist hours these days. I have been finding more questions and answers watching the natural world than I could imagine. Just now it is the ceaseless caress of water on stone, but just the other day it was watching a duck clean and feed itself. You could see there in that one duck the answers for all of life. Just watch how any animal or plant lives it’s life with ease and you can see that all is provided for it. Food is available, shelter if needed, it has the tools available to live in its environment. There is no desire to be other than what it is and be in harmony with everything else. Only man has somehow separated itself from that harmony and desires to be other than what it is. With my long hours of silence I have come to desire only this, to be in harmony with all, to know that all is provided, and cease to struggle for more than that. It seems so simple, perhaps even boring, but a great peace arises and I find myself slipping ever more into a state of happiness that cannot be achieved, only experienced when one is closer to harmony with the natural order.

cnal cloudy

Venice has treated me well. The weather has changed from rain to sun for me and has stayed warm all day. Even today the fog is wearing off and blue skies are about to greet me where only gray used to be. The nights in the streets are ripe for pleasure strolling and mysterious alleyways call from every direction. I decided to spend some time performing poi on the streets for the first time. Once the initial interest in old buildings and crossing canals on bridges wears off one has to enjoy their life just being in the city. Thus I got over my initial hesitation and ended up performing for around 2 hours each night. At first I forgot my speaker at home, so the music was only in my ears, which leads to a striking light show only to the backdrop of conversations. Many people stopped to watch or talk to me. I even made a Japanese friend who is a fellow performer and magician. He shared some new juggling techniques with me and showed me his amazing skills. I wore myself so tired that my arms were dead and the skin missing from my fingers, but I felt great. It certainly taught me that I am ready to learn a few more tricks and put out my hat and see what happens.

Roof experience

*Best hostel experience yet!  Rooftop kitchen/patio

The synchronicity keeps happening. My roommates change from a Japanese trio to a PhD philosophy student from Pune India. He is impressed with my commitment to yoga and meditation as his studies have taken him in a more academic approach to religions and philosophies. He is here to give a lecture and shares the headlines with me in our talks. It is exciting to keep watching these perfect experiences continue to show up.

Gelato

I’ve been accepted to my first workaway experience, where you volunteer your time for food, shelter and experience. I was in need of some nature time and a more steady pace of life other than traveling every few days. I think I have absorbed enough new lessons about life and need to sit and absorb them. After these 10 days on a rural estate I have 10 more in meditation then 3 months in India. Certainly my fast paced travels will be slowing, but I felt the call by my body and it all worked out so perfectly. I was accepted 10 minutes after sending the email and the older couple are retired from running a spiritual retreat in Kent England. They also hold a weekly meditation at their home and need help in the garden. It is conveniently located just north of Lourdes France where I wanted to visit so what couldn’t be more perfect? I am trading exploring Marseilles and Provence for this experience, but I think it’s worth it. I will be back and that leaves something to explore. Time to recharge and integrate all this new information before doing another serious round of meditation.

Switzerland: Traveling the Bernina Express and Fondue with Friends

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I like riding trains, and find that the time slips by quickly as I traverse Europe.  Today I am riding a train for the sole purpose of riding a train.  I am traveling over the alps on the UNESCO world heritage site, the Bernina Pass.  Built at the end of the 19th century this rail covers some 50 kilometers, 196 bridges and 55 tunnels.  Besides all that amazing engineering, its stunningly scenic.  From quaint towns, through fall foliage, around lakes, over snow topped peaks, tunnels, bridges, and valleys, we slowly chug along for 4 hours and I just stare out the window, between running from aisle to aisle to capture pictures on both sides.
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This whole adventure reminds me of the first trips up to the cabin in Park City each year.  The weather has turned colder and as you leave the valley, the seasons magically change and you get to experience a new climate without the slow natural acclimatization in between. I certainly was trying to avoid winter on my travels for I did not pack appropriate clothing, but a quick dip into some snowy mountains with the warm sun shining on you is the perfect magical experience.  Ive only found this experience near the mountains.  From riding snow mobiles in swim pants to hiking in spring when the snows are still melting, nowhere else can you change season so easily with a little vertical difference.  I thrive in season change, always on the border and never solidly in one season.  Some people live for endless summer, but I live for change.  I question for a moment the whole skipping winter idea, with its warm clothes, fires, skiing, snowfall, etc and then quickly remember how long and cold winter is.  Ill take cool spring and autumn and be just fine.  Both sweaty hot summer and cold dark winter extremes, neither appeal to me, but I certainly find enjoyable moments in both.  As I embrace the nature of impermanence, I will be an ever changing season, blossoming new shoots into existence to watch them transform in their multicolored decline.
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I ponder the nature of my diet on this slow trek across the mountains and decide my body is telling me to slow down on my food rampage and eat healthier.  Tonight I want only a salad and I hope my host will be gracious enough to accept my lack of wanting to really eat. 
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I arrive in Zurich and make a short trip to Wintertour where I will be staying with my friend Chipsly Shlipsly.  Her name is really Michelle, but while visiting me in the states, we played one of those games where you combine the name of your first pet and your first street name or some other category to get your “porn star name”.  My fabulous name happens to be Blacky San Angelo and dont forget the sass.  It turns out her sister and family are returning from a trip to Tunisia and have invited themselves over for dinner.  Guess what?  All they want is salad!  Since fresh lettuce and fruits are unsafe to eat there due to water contamination and washing, they are dying for a salad.  We all laugh at the coincidence, but I know I helped create this experience and love watching the delicious expression of my manifesting appear quicker and quicker.
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On my sightseeing day, Michelle and I visit the Rhine falls. The spectacular power of water rushes over the edge and reminds us of the forces of nature. Ever present and supremely powerful, to think that we humans have a degree of control over the earth seems laughable. We play along with the natural forces and rhythms of nature thinking everything to be in order until some hurricane, volcano, tidal wave, or rend in the earth opens up to remind us of the living and changing nature of this spaceship we are riding on. 
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We continue, visiting a castle to look out over a quaint town and vineyard. In the basement of this battlement I am in photography heaven with this spectacular lighting and capture this amazing new image. 
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I get to visit the lovely hillsides where Michelle grew up and a town center where all the buildings are painted and look immaculate because every year the whole center is transformed into a giant stage to enact a play. 
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I get to explore Zurich on my own today and have no idea what this town is about other than it is situated on a beautiful lake, had lots of banks and is home to the worlds 3rd most expensive street to live on. The rate for a square meter is ten thousand euro. That figure alone boggles my mind that anyone has that much money to waste, second that they do waste it and third that it’s only the 3rd most expensive street in the world. There are other crazy people and places out there.  I’m certain people can figure out more creative ways to spend money. 
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On the train ride in I meet my new friend Marcel.  We strike up a conversation when he mistakes me for someone else. Zurich isn’t the largest city and my social butterfly seems to see someone he knows on every street. He tells me his interesting coincidence that for the last 3 Mondays he has somehow fallen into showing a traveler around Zurich. Offering recommendations for food and drink and shopping and music I find a great friend and guide to speak with and show me around. We actually spend all day sitting by the lake drinking tea and having conversations about life and spirituality. It’s amazing that the types of people I want to meet keep showing up in big ways.  We end up spending the next day together as well as traversing Zurich and just chatting. I didn’t really have plans for exploring this city, I was going to practice my circus arts, but as always I must allow the universe to offer me new experiences. 
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I arrive at the train station to meet Michelle and her best friend Manuela, who also visited me in the states, because we are going out for dinner and to catch up. Fluxly salami or magic Manu as we call her is just as lively as I remember. She is also willing to accept my request to cut my hair. While catching up over dinner and drinks we all decide to get together at Michelle’s tomorrow and do something uniquely Swiss; fondue!  
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A bubbling pot of liquid cheese and a few ingredients await the ends of our delicate utensils. Bread and potatoes are our dipping foods with a few spices and deep guilty pleasure for eating at the holy pot of cheese-us, all praise his cheesiness. I take the plunge to finish the whole thing and take my food coma into the bathroom to be sheared. I’ve hit that stage where my hair on the sides make any look unmanageable so we are going to shave them off. I’ve seen this look everywhere in Europe in my travels so what might be slightly on the edge in the states is run of the mill here. After a lot of mess, laughs, and a few slips of the shaver I come out a new and lighter man. Ready to finish the night with laughs and head off to Italy. 
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Before I make that adventure, I must comment that I didn’t have any plans after Venice.  I know I’ve had enough of big cities and it is time for some nature.  Thus I checked workaway again.  This time I found it simple to locate a host, a retired couple from Kent England who used to run a spiritual retreat.  Now they are in the south of France and need a bit of garden work.  Not 10 minutes after applying I had my enthusiastic Yes.  Now I will spend 10 days in the country side doing whatever is needed and spending time with probably a very spiritually enlightened couple.  Chalk another one up to the universe for putting us together at the exact same moment.
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The angles guide me as the next step keeps falling into place.  Wandering off to Italy

Paris: World of Imagination

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“Come with me 
and you’ll be 
in a world 
of pure imagination”
 – Willy Wonka

Stepping foot into Paris is like getting the golden ticket. Your dreams are about to come true and everywhere you look something has been created to delight your senses. The night air is alive, the lights, the stones, the smells all transport me back to my first experience of the world; Paris at age 16. The world was so mysterious and vast, where anything could happen right around the corner and my imagination was ripe and fresh. To my inexperienced youth, a foreign language with no responsibilities was enough to lock Paris into a pure playground of sensations. The world seems to have gotten smaller as I easily manage my way around and use simple French, yet the awe of stepping into these vaguely familiar streets fills me with joy to explore the city of love from this totally new self. Walking the night air, seeing fashionable people having drinks on the sidewalk, the familiar subway air smell and cigarette smoke, this is the Paris I remember, whose feelings are etched in my memory. 

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I have traveled to many cities and countries and with each I have developed a relationship. Some were brief and memorable, some fail to make a lasting impression.  Japan left deep and profound changes in our ongoing relationship, while others like Paris, while she may not always be on your mind, can with one look, one embrace, cause all time to be forgotten as you fall back into the arms of a trusting and comfortable lover. 
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As luck would have it, our apartment over looks the ever present Eiffel Tower and I am graced with laughter at the pure perfection of our situation. I am rooming with my best friend from college and unofficial adopted family, Robin and his wife Gabriella. Despite the late hour and the 10 hours of travel, it’s time to eat. My trip has been likened to the movie Eat, Pray Love in the sense that I plan to eat in France, meditate in India and well I may not be searching for external love, but I am going to Bali and I may find love. After stumbling in and out of brasseries trying to find an open establishment we land ourselves a table and a few entrées.
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Ah Paris, you never fail to amaze the senses. The food that arrives knocks me flat: A Classic French onion soup (funny how the best one in the city always arrives on your first meal), a pair of toast points with bubbling fresh goat cheese melting on top, and a tower of sliced vegetables with marinara and mozzarella glowing all colors of the rainbow. Even the table baguette has more flavor and snap than most breads I can remember and I finish everything in sight. This begins the journey to eat my weight in bread and cheese; and I think I’ll throw in French pasteries to finish the job. 

I awake to the smells of Paris. The din and excitement of morning traffic and stalls setting up for the weekly open air market waft through the windows. Hallways in hotels and apartments have a unique smell to them only to be found in Paris. It’s a slightly musty, yet comforting smell the hugs you in the narrow passageways and stairwells of this well worn city. A memory of the ages and people that have passed into antiquity. Ground floor presents a new barrage of olfactory assault. The fresh seafood and meat vendors have on display their finest cuts and catches. I wander through the market with people bustling to and fro with their purchases and rubbing up to the display cases to make their selections.  I pass whole displays of fruit and vegetables, more cheese varieties than I know exist and bakers with that delicious French bread and glowing flaky crust that accompanies every croissant and pain au chocolat.  Giant figs and nectarines fill my bag as I navigate the French language for the first time and realize I don’t have all the words I need, but I overcome my hesitancy to look foolish and pointing helps. I find out later it happens to be nectarine season which is why they are bursting with flavor as juices run down my face with each bite.  Robin saves me from my fromage incompetence and nabs us quite a few delicious selections to round out the breakfast feast. 
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Robin is attending sciences po to finish his law degree while Gabriella is studing for the LSAT which leaves me to wander the city aimlessly everyday. I’ve seen the main sights of Paris and wish to remain out of the circle of tourists and blend in as a local just going about my daily business.  I will walk in upwards of 10 miles a day crossing ever farther from my home base in the 15th arrondissement to discover much by accident many famous sights, movie locations, and local happenings to attract my attention. As the weather clears from cool and gray to sunny and warm over my 2 weeks I enjoy my strolls and comfortably find that miles disappear beneath my feet without even noticing. An hour walk is just the start of a daily routine which is probably why I’ve lost weight rather than gained any. I have time, so I leisurely wander and my wanderings find me so much beauty and activity I never once feel I am missing out on anything happening in the city. Obviously more is happening than I can ever comprehend, but I find street performers, art walks, local food stands, free concerts, mesmerizing sweet shops, famous buildings, beautiful parks and more stunning architecture than I can gawk at. 
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This city of stone sprawls ever farther from the steps of sacre couer. Taking in the awe inspiring scope of construction from this lofty point I am filled with a sense of dismay for this endless stone jungle that has replaced all it’s greens for beige. At the same time zooming into any one of these buildings and I am enamored with its individual beauty and uniqueness; every one a work of art. It is much the same view when looking at the earth from space, seeing the damage humanity has caused across the planet and yet everything when viewed up close has its own beauty and place and I am reminded to not fall into judgements, that each moment is a unique moment to be cherished. That everything is perfect, the creation and even the destruction.  It is all a unique example of each persons desires rolled into reality and could not be any other way.  I take these thoughts into the church and meditate into the high domed ceilings of this grand work of human achievement adorned with loving gilt and decoration until I reach a place of peace and wander back into the jungle with love and appreciation. 
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I wonder who lives in the penthouses of the special buildings that end in the rounded classic V intersection like two lovers crossings paths. These finely dressed people sipping tea and gazing out the window as their building unwaveringly plays match maker to pedistrians who seem happy to never walk on parallel streets but to arrive in a puff of smoke, enjoy a drink on the ground floor then continue on their way.  The beauty of the buildings everywhere is astounding. The massive stones and archways of every façade make wandering the streets such a pleasure. Despite the fact that something is happening everywhere in Paris or some historical location lurks around the corner, walking through the streets is interesting enough just to look at the architecture of common apartment buildings. Whoever dreamed this wonderland up from their imagination and got an entire city to play along, I am thankful for their imagination. 
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On a day trip to Versailles I get to experience the overwhelming luxury of royalty. After 10 minutes you go quite numb to the grandiosity of it all. The paintings and gold leaf and the history of it all. It’s not quite my taste truthfully, but interesting to witness and maybe have a ballroom party there once. I have to take stock at one point. I am in the museum hall with giant paintings and realize that one painting is the length of my old house. I quickly pace the width and discover that 8 of my 2200 sq foot homes will fit inside this single hall. I think it hits me then at the real size of this palace, which you can’t comprehend while being inside it without reference points. I escape to the gardens which are massively huge as well and quite by happenstance discover my favorite part of Versailles 
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In the summer palace the queen had a hamlet built to educate the young aristocrats on the workings of daily life for rural France. The amazingly styled buildings here with their gardens and picturesque landscape immediatly identiy with my plans for a community living space. I take my lunch here and just imagine what it would be like to live here and enjoy such beauty every day. I am so excited for my future way of life as I experience examples of it in this moment. My travels are already paying off well I think. 

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Back in Paris I pop out of a subway station into my own world of imagination. I rarely take a train on the outward journey so I am disoriented to my surroundings when I emerge in a new magical place. I am here to visit Robin’s favorite writing shop with leather bound journals. The smell of paper and the beauty of writing stare at me from every object of a time long past when the letter was an intimate treasure to give and receive. I still find handwriting and letter craft to be incredibly alluring and a moment to pause and contemplate life and the beautiful complexities of communication. Despite my romantic tendencies towards this art form I rarely partake in its pleasures. The digital age has taken the subtle art of waiting for news to arrive and replaced it with instant gratification and the accompanying magic, taken for granted,  of communicating with someone halfway around the globe. 
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I return from my reverie to notice the magical state of affairs I find myself in. Every few shops is an artisan chocolatier and patisserie with their colorful gleaming displays and delicate creations which beckon my taste buds and curiosity. Since making friends with a local raw chocolatier in salt lake city I have had a healthy interest in artisan chocolate making from bean to bar. I wouldn’t be opposed to adding this to my list of hobbies if I find myself near the equator in my travels. Thus every shop has a new story for me to explore and subtle flavors to try. Had I the coin, I could happily spend days sampling every delicacy within sight. I even found a chocolate museum on my wanderings which contained some of the original recipies for chocolate, always consumed as a liquid for the high priests, and some historical ads for chocolate bars from France. While I have not broken down and tried every colorful pastry to catch my eye, when I try to grasp and explain my childlike joy at just viewing these treasures of culinary artwork, no one seems to appreciate them with me.
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I hear the world over that spend enough time in one location and you go numb to the scenery and local flavor that was once a great joy. I am certainly a victim of this as well, at home I did not thoroughly explore every aspect that a visitor would find interesting, but I never once got bored with knowing and appreciating where the best food and delicacies where located. Perhaps since shops are located on every corner no one is concerned since the standard of quality is high across the board. Being from a smaller city, the selection wasnt so varied and the differences in taste were great. For now I am happy that everything I find is delicious and I could spend years here and not eat it all. 
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I must be exuding a comfortable sense of belonging because I get asked for directions about 3 times a day, by Parisians. It might also be the beard. I usually understand what they are after and the map on my phone shows them the nearest station. It’s also fun when Americans ask me directions in broken French, and I answer in French, then calmly ask them, “Do you speak English?”.  Sometimes I leave out words to keep the wonderment in their faces alive and pretend to be somewhat of an oddity if not a local. Many travelers comment that their English gets worse as we drop words when speaking to non English speakers to get the meaning across because less is more when people are not fluent. It’s kind of fun, but I usually just slow my speaking down and everyone benefits. I really felt I had my basics down when an American started ordering her bread in English and the man behind the counter had that “I don’t know what you are saying look”. I happened to know a simple translation and offered it to the situation and felt pretty happy with myself as everyone got something they enjoyed. Communication offers so much enrichment to our lives and it’s not always the words, communicating the meaning to another and being understood is what’s important. 

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Of course there is no avoiding museums in Paris and many are worth seeing many times over. The musee d’orsay is a fine example of a permanent collection that covers many ages in history and one I find great value in seeing. Not all pieces moved me, but many went far beyond and I had to stare transfixed at the magnificent works. I struggle with art at times. If a works beauty doesn’t grab me upon laying eyes on it, it probably isn’t for me. That said, I have found that statues on their own for some reason escape my glances, but put that same statue in context, such as a church or in a garden and I will appreciate looking at it. Not every style or piece is my cup of tea, but I can appreciate the effort and vision that went into it. 

That being said, some new works of contemporary modern just boggle my mind. I am often moved by a deep feeling of frustration, bafflement and then anger at some pieces being displayed by museums, decided upon by minds steeped in the art world and works presumably worth a lot of money. I think you perhaps know these works. They look like Sunday art projects thrown together by just about anyone who can devote a modicum of effort and the vaguest idea of a purpose. I saw 30 pieces of work, each a self portrait of the artist, made of a bit of plywood and pieces of computer parts and wires arranged haphazardly together. Of course I had to read the sign to know they were self portraits. To me they were a few hours and a spare parts bin thrown together that anyone could have made. A whole room was devoted to this prominent artist and my mouth just hangs open. Next to this was a whole room dedicated to a checkered floor, 2 half inflated crayon blowup toys and a metal frame square suspended from the ceiling. I couldn’t stand to read what this was supposed to mean because my brain cells hurt too much and I needed to escape from this world where people find this pleasurable to look at. This is a museum and the effort put into this looks like it took 10 minutes and the beauty or an interesting factor isn’t self evident, it needs to be explained to you and that I just can’t take. 

This however leads me to the subtle work on myself I have been undergoing. To release the ego and it’s judgements. These works affected me, and thus to find the place affronted within me and become at peace with it is to encounter works like this again and remain at peace and go on about my day. I got seriously worked up about this at some level. Feeling like a bunch of kids got together behind closed doors and said let’s see what we can get away with calling art and displaying it to the public as some giant joke. On the other hand applying this ego clearing to the works I declare I like is also to be released. All judgements must be dropped and what will remain is what is and I will see reality as it really is. Catching the mind as it makes instant judgements about anything you encounter is the first step. Once this process is understood and stopped I can encounter anything and without judgement be in relation to it as it truly is without declaring it good or bad.
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On the bright side I almost skipped the modern art museum Pompidou and I would have missed out. Almost everything here really had substance and a special exhibit took my attention with its focus on interaction with the viewer through sound, touch, and movement. Some of the films even came to life as actors moved about the exhibit bringing the experience into the moment. This exhibit and the permanent collection had pieces I even loved that took real thought and while expressed in a modern way were very effective at their message and beautiful in their own right and without explination. I am thankful for this learning experience to see into myself and what subtle tricks the mind can still get up to. As I move through my journey I will try to remain judgement free as new experiences show up to shine on my inner world.

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I was graced with a few other learning experiences in my time here. In my effort to live life as a local I forgot the benefits of living like a traveler. I read once to treat everyday in your home city as if you were on vacation there. Laugh at the traffic, explore around the corner, and open your eyes to the majesty of the moment. No matter where you go I find that the newness wears off when you start to treat that place as routine. It is all a mindset and you can chose a more alive one anytime you want. I do think that it takes a certain kind of innocence and a child-like playful attitude to achieve successfully. I found myself one day counting beans and talking myself out of spending the extra money on enjoying some fine French macaroons. My goal is to live directly, in the moment and here I fell into the trap of just living out my days. Be a traveler and eat out everyday, have two ice creams, try everything, because who knows if tomorrow is coming. Also listen to your body when it comes to eating obviously and don’t overdo it.  I am trying to live each day fully, with great feeling and vitality, and I found myself attempting to be extra thrifty and skipping opportunities to try new delicious foods because of what? Trying to get through my time in France affordably?  As if that was my main intention and I had fallen back into the dull routine of daily life whose focus is money. It’s a question that will continue to follow me I think. What is the goal of a persons way of living? What do you get out of each day?  Is that exactly what you want or just a means of delaying some greater dream? My dream at the moment is to eat delicious foods and visit my friends around Europe. I have the funds set aside for this within reason, but the intention and direction is important. I had lost the intention to old habits of denying myself in the moment for some lower desire to hoard and secure myself from future experiences or hardships. To free myself to express my intention in the moment and live a life of authenticity is the practice of this first portion of travel. To eat and fill myself with freedom and joy, then to go to India and meditate until balance comes between the two. Never forget the direction you are pointed, and if you are lost, be still until you know your direction, for aimless effort is bound to be in the wrong direction. 

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In discerning my direction and selecting a plan I’ve learned something. Given that I can go anywhere and do anything, (this is true for all people) figuring out what to do and how to go about it can seem complicated. Often it boils down to a simple decision, this way or that, north or south, Germany or Belgium. How does one decide?  And when trying to plan around finding trains and places to stay, free opportunities, planning around friends schedules, seeing cool things, and your brain starts melting with all the planning between just two choices. I go for a walk. If another person might be involved in planning I shoot them a message to see how my ideas work for them. By the time I get back one person responds or one choice feels easier and that becomes the course. That settling in feeling aligns the universe to your decision and thus a course of action unfolds while all others fade. When I try to force a direction rather than let one unfold, madness ensues, like swimming against the current. I trust that I am always being guided to experiences and situations that allign with my way of being. This has not failed me yet. But letting go of the need to plan and choose, when planning does save you money on tickets, is tough. The particulars do sort themselves out easily and I’ve met great experiences when I finally relax, and just put out the word on where I want to go and see what comes back to me. Whether on Facebook or just stating my intention to myself and the world. Declare what it is you want and let the rest come to you!  There are always little signs about going with the flow and when you are flowing all things can come to you. In the end, no matter where you go, there you are.
And it’s always perfect. 
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Eating well and off to Germany~
-The Wandering Monk

Health and Energy management, with your awareness.

Continued from Sweden Part 1:
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You have an amazing power within you. With your awareness you can participate with your body in a relationship of understanding to maintain and promote optimal health. You must cultivate this power with patience and trust, but once you have a degree of how it works the possibilities are endless. To be in communication with the signals from your body, the vehicle in which you express your beingness, extends far beyond being physically healthy.   I will attempt to contain the scope of information to physical health, but remember this process applies to every area of your life, including mental, emotional, and spiritual.  It is my sincere hope that you learn to use and master your “emotional guidance system” as coined by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

I dont get sick.  Not ever and I just dont believe in it.  Meaning I believe in my health, and that I am always healthy.  I am not so foolish to think that pathogens do not enter my body and are fended off by my immune system.  I believe in a healthy and perfect immune system.  Obviosuly self re-enforcing experiences promote this conclusion and I support what currently is or I would create something better.  However I see people in various degrees of sickness all the time.  Sick in bed, sick at work, sick at school, apathetic kinds of sick and serious kinds of sick, pain so overwhelming manners go out the window and you would donate this pain to your best friend if it would just go away.  There are other kinds of sick as well, sick of working, sick of monotany, even sick of living I am sure.  Understand that the physical world is the slowest state of vibration. Meaning slowest to change and typically the last place for symptoms to show up. Higher vibrations such as mental or emotional forms are always the source of illness in the body, long ignored and thus manifested physically.   What sickness comes down to in my understanding is probably just two things.  Inability to manage vital body energy, and the inability to listen to your body signals.  

Vital body energy is your available energy to function and includes all your biological processes.  If you run out of this energy, you would be left without any resources to do much of anything.  If you can recall the last time you were sick in bed, perhaps you understand what it is like to have no extra energy other than be at the end result of the disease doing battle with your immune system.  You probably lack the energy to move much, eat, read, use brain power and manage anything but resting.  You may even feel like dieing, metaphorically of course, but this feeling isnt so far from the physical truth.  Managing your vital energy then is to never let it fall below a point where you are at the mercy of required body functions.  With regard to health, if you maintain enough energy you will never have the physical experience of being sick.

Your major energy souce is obviosuly the intake of food converted to energy via digestion and surplus energy stored  in your body.  Other sources are more intangable.  We all live within an energy field and are constantly interacting with it.  Think of all the electrons holding your body together, this constitutes a field.  One major source of energy is the Earth itself.  Placing your bare feet on the earth instantly connects you to a flow of free electrons which naturally settle in your body to balance out the particles missing them.  Similar to this source is contact with all living and non living entities.  Huging a tree, embracing a human, petting the cat, touching stones, making dinner or anything else you come into contact with exchanges energy that can bring energy into your system or give it away. Think at the atomic level, everything your hand touches instantly connects to and then seperates from the electrons of the object being touched.  Having communicated in some tangable way the sensation of the object to your hand (Hard, soft, cold, warm, rough, smooth, etc.)  That is energy and information moving in the field, giving you valuable sensations and guidance.  This transfer of information is happening with everything, all the time and understanding it will allow us a measure of control in our response to new signals.

Energy loss similarly occurs in many ways that are obvious and some that are more subtle in nature.  Using your body physically and mentally requires the largest costs of energy and this is to be expected.  40% of your energy costs may go into using your brain for complex thought processes alone, with major contributions to digestion, elimination, and muscle recovery following up.  Im going to lump the other costs into one category: stressors.  Any time you are in a state of resistance you can easily feel the sensation of it.  Stress is basically a chronic state of energy loss. Whether these are physical stressors such as ingesting toxins or emotional stressors from work or relationships, they cost you energy.

Maintaining vital body energy then is gathering and retaining enough energy in your system than all the stressors costs you.  To be feeling rundown would be to cost yourself enough energy that you dip into the red and spend more energy on physical or emotional stressors than is being balanced by energy input.  To become sick is the same state, but you introduce a disease process into the mix.  This creates a physical experience of pain or suffering felt immediatly in the body without resources at your disposal to change the circumstance.  Thus finding the proper balance of energy, will keep you from this low energy experience and in a state of health.  To know if you are in a proper environment, by environment I mean a physical, emotional and mental state of being stress free, falls to your wonderful internal system of signaling that is constantly informing you moment to moment of your energy state and your environments effects on you.

Listening to your body signals and emotions:
How often does that little voice in your head suggest something to you?  How often do you listen?  More importantly how often do you act upon that suggestion?  Training your awareness to listen to this internal guidance and intuition starts building the foundation of understanding the energy changes happening to your body at the moment of occurance.  They need not be ‘voices’, any pang, poke, buzz, stab, flutter, gut instinct, emotional state or any sensation at all is the same thing.  This is a process of trusting small seemingly insignificant messages which are actually the continual state of change which you can tap into.  Your body is designed to be a reciever of this information always, but your active participation and awareness are needed to do anything useful with this information.  The key is to start acting on each piece of information.  You dont go from getting advice such as exercise a bit more or slow down on the drinking, to major knowledge overnight.  This is because if you cant listen to the easy changes, managing a big change which might turn various areas of your life upside down for a bit, would end up costing you more energy than staying in your current state of misery. (But really they are all small changes depending on your viewpoint…shhh)

This is exactly what happened for me and my diet.  I had begun to listen to my body and started working on some smaller changes and things were begining to change.  I was sitting on the couch one evening and this plesant sensation sprang on me out of nowhere.  Soon my own voice spoke to me in my head and said “How would you like to be vegetarian?”.  It didnt really use the word vegetarian, it was a bigger concept all rolled into a simple meaning that was transmitted to me.  That is one clear indicator of true inner guidance, it speaks in concepts.  I understood at once, without words, that if I follow this advice this plesant feeling would be a part of a lifestyle of eating healthier and more in tune with my body’s wishes.  It didnt even take me half a thought to say yes and thus started the moment I have been meat free.  I looked back on this event from a few months down the road and it was amazing the transformation that took place.  I didnt even have a last meal, cannot remember the last piece of meat I ate or have I once craved or desired meat since.  I feel sorry for anyone that makes such a lifestyle decision for purely mental reasons and struggles against their body signals.  

I gained more than I thought in that moment.  I had been wanting to cook more, eat healthier, and experiment with varied cuisines.  These were all little desires in my head and I was trying to work with them, but only in small ways.   Switching a staple food from my diet instantly forced me in the best possible way to explore new foods and styles and I have been forever happier from this experience.  The same process occured when alcohol left my life.  Had you told me at the begining I wouldn’t be eating meat, drinking or eating French fries anymore I might have told those voices no way.   I needed enough energy to manage the transformation, and enough trust in the guidance to see it through.  What really costs you is the resistance from outside sources such as established habits, friends and environments that attempt to keep you in stasis with how you used to be.  Having enough energy to stick with your body’s guidance no matter the criticism or disbelief or advice from others that contradicts the information you have received is really the test.

In my recent case in Sweden, I was opening a stuck emotional and energetic space in me that was ready to be cleared.  Whatever the cause, physical or emotional, the signals roughly tend to be similar.  The day before I noticed early on the extra demands for energy.  A lack of enthusiasm, a diminished vocal capacity and need to express myself in speech, slight muscle ache as my body repaired itself slower.  I understood that a process was happening to me, that this was going to require energy, my participation was requested, and thus I acted accordingly.  I cancled all my plans, I rested and I fasted*.  I could easily have kept along with my plans, I would have been tired, but I could have kept going like so many people do day in and day out.  Never feeling their best, but certainly can go on.  Despite our belief that multitasking is efficient and a skill to be honed, we can actually only process one task at a time.  Human beings are only very efficient at ‘switching’ between tasks rapidly which looks like multitasking.  Thus instead of multitasking and taking on the job of processing this healing phase and continuing about my daily life I chose the higher priority: My health.  My health is my number one priority, because without health the possibility to enjoy life is drastically diminished.  That isnt to say I am perfect, but when I am aware enough, I make the best choice available to my understanding.  I gave my body one day and all my energy to literally transmute something physical needing to be changed and woke up the next day perfectly recovered and ready to ride some roller coasters.  Why this particular process required so much energy and a physical response I may never know, but I have been living in and experiencing the new (actually old) emotions coming out of this space and gaining more awareness into my inner world.  If you ever find yourself heading towards a healing phase or see the signs of an oncoming sickness, pay attention and perhaps the this information will be of use.

*Fasting: There is substantial research on the effect of fasting for health.  A typical human body can go around 30-90 days without food before the demand for sustenance returns.  During this abstaining process the substantial demands of energy for digestion are instead used for healing and house cleaning purposes.  Many miraculous healings are attributed to following a fasting regimine under physician guidance.  A short fast of 3-10 days can improve many simple ailments and knock out simple sicknesses if started early and ample rest is added.
  
Steps to start managing your energy and signals:

-Energy coming into your system:
The nourishment you consume is directly the energy that will be available to you.  You are literally what you eat as it becomes the building blocks of new cells.  Eating as clean as possible will allow your body to easily digest the food and turn it into energy.  This is your one real responsibility concerning managing your body directly, everything else is mostly an internal process handled without your conscious involvement.  Remember, digestion costs energy, thus eating properly mixed foods, light on time consuming meat products will leave you with energy after digestion and will not cost you a nap (think of the thanksgiving nap effect of over eating).

-Remove all artificial products from your diet.  High on the list is artificial sugars, chemicals and msg.  Not only does your body treat these substances as toxins and thus must expend extra energy to contain and expel them, they are neuro toxins inhibiting your brain’s normal signals.  This physically reduces your awareness over such body signals as satiation, craving, addiction, and signs of distress.  If those chemicals didnt give your brain a boost of pleasure, you would feel immediatly the toxic effects of these substances rather than feeling the effects at a delayed response.  Read your labels!  If you consume many processed and packaged foods or fast food, tough as it might be to change your habits, try to eliminate as many of these energy costs as possible.

-Reduce your intake of meat.  
Muscle fibers are the toughest food substances for the body to break down. If you want more energy available to you the first place you can recover some is from reducing the work load on your digestive system.  Most meats take up to 14 hours to fully break down, so remember to really chew.  Several studies have shown that meat and dairy consumption over a certain limited amount may cause many of the “Western Diseases” due to inflamation such as coronary disease, diabetes, obesity, and cancer.  Your body is an amazing machine able to digest much of the variety of foods ingested across the globe.  However too much of certain foods your body already spends a lot of energy digesting actually reach a point where your body goes into defense mode rather than digestion, storing these extra toxins as fat because it cannot expel the material quickly enough without auto intoxicating. 

-Try switching as much of your dairy intake to non cow sources such as goat.  Goat dairy lacks the casien protien found in cow milk which studies show human beings have a hard time digesting. This is also why babies are given goat milk if the mother cannot provide. 

-Reduce drastically or permanently alcohol use.
As for alcohol, moderation is key. Unless you are seriously committed to retaining every bit of energy and awareness, alcohol will continue to cost you some degree of energy and will, as its primary effect reduce your awareness.  These effects resolve themselves usually by the next morning and based on your desire to be more aware, consumption is at your discretion.  

-Begin to meditate.
Any kind of meditation will serve the purpose here, which is to pay more attention to your state of being.  Stop for a moment and really check in with your body.  Really feel what is going on there.  You live in this amazing thing and the amount of senses it contains which are always giving you feedback is astounding.  Having a clear mind really helps with this, but isnt required to begin to benefit.  Your body knows what is needed at all times to be in a state of health and is constantly trying to tell you.  There will be no major roadsigns or sheets of instructions.  There will be subtle sensations and feelings, always guiding you towards the one state of health if you choose to listen.  Our minds and egos would love to do steps 1-2-3 and be finished, but managing our energy is a moment to moment responsibility.  

-Learn Kinesiology, also known as Muscle Testing.
If you are seriously interested in learning a direct technique to ask your body questions and get answers then this is the method for you.  It requires two people to be done, but it can be learned to be done solo.  This technique tests the energy state of the body in response to a stimuli.  There is a small amount of electricity in the body at all times.  If a positive stimuli is tested on the body it will remain strong, likewise if a negative stimuli is tested, it interupts your circuitry and your body will go weak.  It’s pretty cool once you experience it for yourself. The trust comes when something gives you a negative response, perhaps something you like to eat, will you remove it from your diet or not listen to the information your body gives you? Things may change again in the future, but if you cannot experiment with changes in your habits and exercise some self control to see things change then hold onto this technique until you are ready.  I will devote an entire post to this single topic as I use it every day of my life.  In the mean time please read David Hawkins “Power Vs. Force” which is certainly at the top of the list in being informative as to the studies and power of this technique.  The begining is a bit heady on the science, but then it mellows out into easy reading.
 
Once a certain degree of communication is reached between your body and awareness, the process becomes automatic.  You will feel the instant something goes off or goes right.  You can then at that moment start a new process of self discovery into the cause of the change.  Did something I just consume cause a noticable difference?  Did my environment change in some way?  Did my emotional state just change?  Am I feeling my best, and if not what can I change?  These changes are happening all the time, below the surface of common awareness.  To give them the attention they deserve is the first step in listening to what they tell you.  Which leads to following what guidence you understand.  This will leave you with a better internal communication system, better health and the knowledge that you can always take care of yourself because the guidence is always present and speaking with you.  Your body is the very instrument, like a string always vibrating.   

“Remember this pain is not to cause you suffering, this pain is to make you more aware!”  -OSHO

Become more aware and pains of all sorts begin to melt away.  Other pangs and pains may appear to guide you as your new guidance system develops which is how I mostly receive my guidance.  Leave the judgements at the door and be thankful for any sensations in your body. They are all messages whether ‘painful’ or ‘pleasurable’. Gaining a greater degree of physical health leads inevitably to greater emotional, psychological and spiritual health.  You have started on the journey.  Blessings.

-Other resources for further research
Most of this information first reached my understainding by books and recommendations.  Here are many that fit within this topic and I hope they help you as much as they did me.
– www.earthing.com – Products for grounding your body inside a home or workspace to gather those free electons.  I use one of these everytime I work on a computer and I sleep with one of these every night!
– Ask and it is Given, By Esther and Jerry Hicks –  Teaching by Abraham about using your emotional guidance system to manifest anything you want, including your health.  Another comprehensive resource on listening to your body signals.
– Green for Life, By Victoria Boutenko – The importance and ease of including a green smoothie in your diet to fulfill your actual nutritional needs.  This is like rocket fuel when consumed for breakfast!
– Fasting and Sunbathing, By Robert Shelton –  The resource on fasting.  Dr. Shelton has supervised over 50,000 water fasts for health and healing of disease.  http://www.soilandhealth.org/02/0201hyglibcat/020127shelton.III/020127.toc.htm
– Forks Over Knives, Film.  Information about the health benefits of eating a whole foods, plant based diet to combat many “Western Diseases” that we face today.  Covers research from two prominent scientists and the China Study.  
– The China Study – http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_China_Study
 A 20 year comprehensive study into nutrition and its effects on humans.

The Start of a Quest

Its not often that you know you are taking your first steps on a quest.  Usually you suddenly become aware after sometime that is has just happened and you are walking a path to your dreams.  When I locked the door for the last time with the keys inside and walked away from my home “The Castle” is Kansas City, it was the start of a quest, a journey and a pilgrimage into the unknown.  I have sold all of my belongings, including the house, and reduced myself to a backpack, intent to travel the world for at least 3 years with 2 goals and a pretty lose idea of where to go and when to be there.  My quest is to learn how to live in the world, right now at this moment, fully content and happy.  I want to discover what elements this takes.  My two goals in discovering this way of living revolve around Meditation and Sustainable Living.  Obviously im starting this quest with what I know looking for the unknown, to experience the unknown and be changed by it.  Inherent in this process is the fact that my goals, viewpoints and everything else about me might change or might not.  Anicca, the Pali term for impermanence, which is the Law of Nature (everything is always changing) is pretty much my guiding light.  To understand that everything, good and bad, is always changing and resolving to be at peace with this Law is the characteristic that Meditation will bring to me on this quest.  Visiting communities around the globe who are focused on sustainable living practices such as farming, community building, and holistic living will be my practical application of experiencing a new (at least to me) lifestyle.

At the young age of 28 I will be challenging myself to let go of what I know; to allow what is unknown to pour into me, to be changed by those experiences and then with the wisdom gained to better understand what it is that I am really looking for.  I at least know upfront that I am looking for something I can’t define and I can’t quite place my finger on it.  I have reduced it down to my two goals because those are the nearest concepts I can place that will help me experience whatever longing desires to be expressed.  What I want is perhaps what many of my generation want and cannot express in clear language.  The more I explain to people what I am doing and why, the more a light goes on in their eyes that they also want something quite similar and hadn’t quite gotten around to fully forming this idea and acting on it.  People are searching for connection, purpose, and community.  Things the digital age seems to give us, but our intrinsic nature isn’t being fooled, we want the real deal.   My personal life goal in this quest seems to be, discover what Truth can be found and to bring it back to share with others.  To be one of the forerunners, do the hard work, so that others may benefit and make their transition easier.  I have a long term goal of making my own sustainable community to implement what I love about life and what I will soon be learning (and this may change), but the end goals in this community would be 1) To live a wonderful daily experience, and 2) To share this experience with anyone who wises to try something new.  I learned long ago that without the experience of something new it is impossible to change.  I want to create this place so that people may come, experience something new and be transformed by it, if even just the smallest amount.  To plant a seed in all who visit, and to nurture that seed in all who stay.  That is what my quest is about; to experience new ways of being on this planet and collect those seeds and watch them grow and see what blooms.

The purpose of this blog is to update all those who follow on the seeds of experience that I collect along the way.  Some people of course just want to know where I am (Hi Mom) and what I’m doing, in which I believe this will be the best source of information as well as the link of this on Facebook.  I had struggled with the idea of disconnecting myself almost entirely from the internet as I traveled and the many requests of friends and family to start a blog to keep them informed.  In archetypal language I am on a Hero’s journey; going off into the world, leaving behind all that is known to hopefully succeed in being transformed and bringing back sacred knowledge to the community.  Joseph Campbell has outlined the steps of this most common story, found in most movies and through out all literature.  My specific journey is that of stepping into adulthood and manhood; discovering exactly who I am as an individual and what I have to bring to this experience of life.  I will be recording my journey in my journal, and whatever insights arise will be translated into digital to share.  I can’t promise how often this will occur, but I can promise that what I post will hopefully be insightful and may also plant a seed in your awareness.

I have a sort of itinerary for my first year of travel.  I will begin with a 10 day Vipassana Meditation course in Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts.  This is something I have been looking forward to since I first heard about it from some couchsurfing friends who had just completed their 10 day courses around the world.  To be further enhanced by a friend and roommate Taylor who had done 2 of them back to back.  Finding 10 days off was the issue, but now that my job has been resolved I think an intense meditation course is the best way to initiate the change from old to new.  Following this I will be doing a 2 month internship at an organic greens farm in South DartmouthMA.  A long time friend of the family I am staying with, Eva of Eva’s Greens has taken me in and will give me my first experience of what it takes on a day to day to grow a lot of food.  As sustainable living is based on your ability to grow most of your own food this will be another critical skill and continuing experience along my journey.  On August 28th I leave the United States for 3 years, starting with 3 months in France and a few trips to neighboring countries.  Then I travel to India for up to 6 months.  I have a 3 month work/meditation program at the Osho Meditation Retreat in Pune India.  After that experience I may stay on or travel India, who knows.  From there I am a blank slate.  I leave this purposely open so that I may say YES to whatever the universe brings me.  When you travel you meet so many people and they always offer such amazing experiences or places to visit.  Without an itinerary I can say yes to any and all that seem best to fit my mood at the time and that is the best gift I can give myself.  I have a hit list of countries I want to visit, not limited to but definitely including, Japan, Bali, Nepal, Egypt, South Africa, Morocco, New Zealand, All of South and Central America, and the rest of Europe I haven’t seen already.  I want to spend some time on a sail boat, diving in the ocean, learn to paraglide, walk from the shire to mordor, take a vipassana course in every country I intend to stay more than a month in, visit every hot spring I can dip myself into and eat the most amazing food.  This list will only grow as time moves on, but that is what is in store.

For those who always are asking how can you do this? I have a budget of 30$ a day (that’s 12k a year), I plan on wwoofing a lot, I plan on courchsurfing a lot, I plan on volunteering or even working at retreats/centers/farm etc.  While transportation is probably my main expense, I am aiming at a lifestyle that is sustainable and mostly free.  Trade your time for food and a place to stay is a lot of the way I will be going around the world.  This isn’t a vacation, its hard work, self development and the basis of what I hope is the rest of a wonderful life.  It’s also a vacation!  And it might just be the easiest thing I do!  Or the hardest thing I do!  From what I used to call work, work now must be also play and learning at the same time.  I did work very hard, behind a desk for 5 years and I did save enough money to pay my way around the world, although I want to learn how to travel for mostly free and love all the experiences that can be gathered.  Anyone can save enough to travel, it depends on your priorities.  For instance, a 1500$ plane ticket to SE Asia, plus 3-400$ a month will get you a 4 month beach retreat for 3k total.  If the idea of scraping together 250$ a month for 1 year (125$ over 2 years) sounds too hard to live at the beach for 4 months well then you might be stuck in the cultural trance or just not a world traveler.  I struggled for 3 of those 5 years knowing that working behind a computer was not what I loved to do in life.  I made good money and had a comfortable lifestyle, but the essence of life was missing and I knew it everyday.  I am still recovering from all the justifications I gave myself to stay put and keep making money all those years.  Just so you don’t get the wrong idea, this trip is in no way justification or a reward for all those years of work.  I was unaware of my fears keeping me stuck and I am now at least free of that fear, free to move on.  I also happened to save enough money, just because of my thrifty nature and deeply knowing I wanted to change my lifestyle.  The hardest and easiest decision to quit my job changed everything.  I don’t envy anyone the struggle it is to give up that security of money, and if you have other responsibilities like a family or are in debt, it is even harder.  However, giving up what makes you unhappy to follow something that makes you happy no matter the cost, is a trade I will now take every time.  Again it is something you have to experience, and I plan to put my experience to good use, for the benefit of others.

I hope this lengthy post explains enough about what I am about to do in my life, why, and a bit about who I am.  It is my sincere wish that everyone finds true happiness in their lives.  To free themselves from misery and to enjoy each moment as it arises no matter what is occurring.  This power of choice we have all been given is jaw-droppingly the most amazing gift. You get to choose what you want to do, be, think every moment and you can always change it!  Remember nothing is being done to you, you are choosing it, and if you don’t like it choose something else.  This includes how you feel, choose to be happy and surround yourself with wonderful experiences of what inspires happiness in you.  Remember Anicca, that everything is always changing, even your happiness.  Enjoy your suffering and then enjoy your happiness, both are a part of the journey.  Blessings to each of your journeys, may you all be enlightened and liberated.